Yesterday I was just going along on the net doing searches when I found out that the Rabbi that I wrote about quite a bit at the beginning of my blog has passed. Matter of fact he had already passed when I began my “new” blog nearly 2 years ago. Another one passed. Another opportunity missed. Everyone dies or turns perp. I know my childish fantasy of seeing him and ‘making up” was stupid but…just like the stupid fantasy of getting back together with my former friend only to find out she had died months before. As if, anyway. She would have never forgiven me in a million years. Another story for another much later time.
Mr. Rabbi was quite old when he passed and lived a full life having led 2 congregations and also being a university professor and spiritual counselor. To everyone but me.
My father is gone and I will never reconcile with him even though I tried, my sister does not talk to me, the rabbi is gone, my former friend back from the 80s and 90s is gone, my mother is gone, everyone is dead or a perp. “My” rock stars are all gone as well but idolatry is sin.
I feel old.
dcms2 
Why do you feel you had to apologize to your Rabbi? It seems to me, he should’ve apologized to you. And we all die eventually.
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We needed to apologize to each other. He for denying me my bat mitzvah and me for threatening him. I went twice to him and he pushed me away twice. I will never know why. Maybe he was a Mason and was told to have nothing to do with me.
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