My Shrink

My shrink (yes I was conned back into the psych game due to V2k and intense “demonic” attacks), was acting funny yesterday.

I only see her once every few months but this time she came and got me on time (never happens) and was all business, not even a smile or “hi”.  Her mood seemed so heavy at first I thought something was going down and I was gonna get hauled off somewhere.

Her questioning was pointed, acting like I was losing even basic life skills.  Then she tried to pitch me the antipsychotic drugs again…again!!!!!  I know probably half the “clients” she sees are probably ti’s or have been victimized by the system some way.  Very few people there at the center look or act crazy and that ones that are are probably the ones that are on the most DRUGS.

The first time I saw a shrink was in my teens and I was pitched antipsychotics at FIFTEEN even though I had no voices or hallucinations.  I became suicidally  depressed on the poison and that is how I ended up in the state hospital at SIXTEEN, and I think they wanted me for a long time or even forever.  That is when I ran and by a miracle was not made to go back even though my “head therapist” tried to con me into going back “inside”.  We even had a “final meeting” INSIDE THE UNIT.  I did not breathe until one of the “counselors” opened the gate to let my parents and I out.

Back to now…

I even recently made the comment that if I allowed them to drug me to the gills, make me gain 100 pounds, lose 30 IQ points, get diabetes, etc…they would probably find me a new place to live.  I am basically uncooperative with the drugs so they won’t do shit for me.  I did not tell the shrink that comment but made it to someone else.

I know these finks have the inside track to low income housing but refuse to help.  Also, there are several clients each time I go that are clearly homeless but still go get their pills.  They will literally give you them for free even if you sleep under a bridge.

I did a post on my old blog about forced drugging and maybe I should resurrect it.  The person I knew who was drugged got all kinds of goodies from the system except her freedom.  Her attitude was one of anger and disgust the last time I saw her. She was also a perp.

She tried to hurt me badly but she was/still is? a textbook case of how far the system would go to control someone.  Someone gets rich off our misery and the demoniacs get high off the negative emotions.  I really expected to see a cop inside her office when I went back.

It all was Planned

Last week, on Pineconeutopia, Karen Stewart, ex-NSA, revealed that Lockheed/Martin, the weapons contractor has human stalking services in 47 states!  I have had very few friends in my life, but, two of them had FATHERS who spent their careers at Lockheed, I know another man who worked there a little bit, and his wife spent her career at RAYTHEON!!!  Everyone I know, or have known has already been cleared by these satanic beasts.

I was also perped and called a “lifer” by a perp at a restaurant while I was trying to enjoy a quiet meal.  It was totally orchestrated, so much, that I even suspect the person who took me knew it was going off.  It was very weird.  The skit seemed planned.  Then, the man who took me to eat told me I had to “come to terms with my “mental illness” and other insults.  No doubt he is being paid to be a handler/babysitter by the perp establishment.  I dared to go shopping once without him and got hell from the neighbors for days.  You know the “retribution” they give you for doing ANYTHING THEY TELL YOU NOT TO DO.

Now, I am not even allowed to wear ANY purple.  It seems they own colors as well.  They act like they own God.  I wore 2 purple fingernails and it seemed Hell broke loose.

Interesting V2k’s these past few months:

“Don’t expose us” after I commented on another ti’s video

“You will think Obama’s administration is paradise” on Inauguration Day in January with the threat life will be Hell under Trump.  Is it sour grapes by liberal perps or real?

“You are not allowed to play your Mp3 outside with earphones”  I have just bought a new Mp3 player because the old one’s microphone was bad and the headphone jack was broken.  I wanted to sit outside and not have to listen to their crap, and that requires earphones jammed into my ears and volume turned up.

“Those are your prison clothes”  Every time I go and get something to wear.

30 years of my life lost to this.  Now I have a sadistic landlady, crime on my block, a false accusation hanging over my head, etc…All of a sudden my looks are completely gone and even look horrible with makeup.  I went out for someone’s birthday and was ashamed of how I looked.

Life in perp prison w/o possibility of parole.  No accusations, no trial, no conviction…NOTHING.  Still, no one outside of the ti community cares.

More Perp Threats

I was going to rewrite some old blogs of mine from 2009/2010 but got threatened by a perp “neighbor” that I would not be able to leave my apartment if I posted these posts.  I was going to post yet another post on what has REALLY been going on this year but got a threat from “God” probably a perp, that “he” would “leave me” if I posted it.  I got threatened that “God” would “leave me” if I read my library books, colored in the adult coloring books I had, etc…etc…etc…I’m in a box, a coffin.  The “authoritative” male voice probably isn’t God, and the neighbor probably couldn’t force me to stay in here, but, they get you with their satanic fear every time.  I feel motivated to do nothing.  God, or His perp counterpart told me if I “touched my lips” to wine to relax I would be “unsaved”.  I’m not even Saved anyway.  The Holy Spirit never came inside me.

Panic is, by the way, knowing you are fucked and that there is nothing you can do about it, that if will never end and even God does not hear you anymore.  It’s a slow creeping quiet desperation.

 

One Special Reader

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If you could have a guarantee that one, specific person was reading your blog, who would you want that person to be? Why? What do you want to say to them?

I’d want the one person who could help me get out of being gangstalked to see this blog and see it’s true and then help me. I’ve had enough.

If there is no such person I’d like to see the person who got me stalked in the first place read this blog and realize he has paid me back in full for whatever I did to him, whatever it was. I fear he would only want more to be done. I do not think he forgives.

So, then I’ll go with the first one. Who is the hero that would get me out of my hell? Could this hero free other ti’s as well? It would have to be a man or woman without fear because perps operate on fear.

One prompt, at last.

Grab the nearest book. Open it and go to the tenth word. Do a Google Image Search of the word. Write about what the image brings to mind

Lots of times I read prompts but refuse to do them because I feel as if I’m giving too much information to the perps by answering the prompt.  Here’s a prompt that isn’t too personal:

I picked up the nearest book, the Bible, and where I opened the text, I forgot book and chapter, the word was “of”. What can I do with that?

God? or the perps are saying I can’t even read my Christian novels anymore. This time I could not tell if the Holy Spirit or high tech was talking to me. I know the perps want to strip me of all pleasures. I gave up all video games because I thought God wanted me to. My life was being made hard by just playing one game a day for an hour or so.  Perping decreased when I gave it up.  All I got to do with novels was read 50 pages a day of a Christian novel 6 days a week and now I can’t do it anymore apparently.  I also apparently cannot work crossword puzzles anymore. Sounds more like the perps trying to make sure all my time is devoted to them, but I’m not sure.

Back tp the word “of”.

First image????

rights

You are kidding right?  I am the Rightless One.  I cannot even choose the clothes I wear.  Now the perpotraitors are telling me what color BAG I can carry if I want to tote things around.  Got some red cloth grocery bags at Target.  First they got perps wearing “my” clothes carrying red bags running around and people wearing red t shirts, THEN they put a red paper gift bag in the front yard with a dirty old cap in it.  It’s a threat.  Again.  I’m a total slave.  What rights?

They told me this morning over the oh so convenient Voice to Skull that they were God and I could not wear sleeveless tank tops anymore or he would “leave” me because they were not “modest”.  What, are the perps the Taliban, also?

They keep taking away and I never know 100% that it’s NOT God speaking as He allows them to “punish” me for infractions.  This Bible commentary I’m reading said God is allowing people to go through trials if He thinks they are not humble enough and He gives them trials to bring them down from pride.  How low do I have to go?  This stuff has been following me around since age 3.

Liar, Liar

I live the Big Lie.

The biggest Lie is when I go to my therapist and psychiatrist’s office.  We all lie.

We all Pretend.

They Pretend I have a Mental Illness so the gangstalking and Voice to Skull I get becomes “symptoms”.  No one gets to be accountable, no one suffers but me. I  pretend I’m Ill so I can get pills to help the relentless depression and anxiety, the constant escalating gangstalking produces.  I tried the fish oil and the vitamins.  They were Not Enough.

The Doctors dream up more and more excessive diagnoses for my “illness”…I become more “disabled” by the minute.  I’m halfway to mental retardation or complete insanity now.  I let them do it.  I can’t live without the pills that let me survive.

Three years ago the perps got me to such a low point I could not eat, could not sleep, could not sit in a chair for over 5 minutes.  They are very proud.

They played God and hurt me deep….they cooked up a Lie to bring me down.

So, after the misery of what they did…I started to play along.  I did what they wanted all along.  I took the pills.  I listened to them as they restricted my life more and more with more and more threats.  I got a little relief at first and then it got bad again, except this time I’m fat again with the pills and lost all that conditioning I got from all those little walks when I took my life in my hands not knowing what would happen on the way to and from the Park.

1.  People trying to run me over

2.  Trucks pretending to sideswipe me

3.  Skits always.

4.  Dead Animals

5.  Police Following me Around

6.  Police almost Arresting me

7.  Getting propostioned to by men

8.  Meeting a “boyfriend” who was being paid to snitch on me

ETC  ETC yet I walked…until I started to swallow the pills

I don’t know what happened.  When the first few pounds came on, I LIed to myself and tried to diet them off.  They would not budge.  I would go on a 3 day fast and the scale would not budge.  My walks became less and less frequent.  I became scared to walk as I grew heavier.  I Lied to myself I was better off without those walks.  But I’m not.

I started eating more to compensate for my extra anxiety due to less exercise.

My life is not better with the pills.  Just more manageable. Now I’m an addict to the pills and my gangstalking problems are even worse.  I was healthy now I’m weak and tired.

It all started with a LIe.

Dear 12 year old me

Hello from the future.

There’s something you need to know. You are falling down a hole that you are making for yourself and wasting your life. What is left of it…See, 10 years in the future you will be “picked” to be a gangstalking target and will lose your life bit by bit until you have almost nothing left and every day will be a trial and a burden. By the time you are middle aged you will regret you had been born.

So, 12-year-old self, make your life now count. Enjoy life, nature and the few people you have in your life. Examine your potentials and try to excel in them in the time you have left because soon it will be all gone.  Be nice to your family.  Soon they will co opt them and they will be gone to you.

Don’t waste any more time on that band. Don’t suck your brain into extinction. The pop music culture was designed to make you promiscuous and stupid and will eventually draw you down into a cult like mind state. Life is too short for this. During your free time, read, before your overlords count the pages and impose punishments if you rebel.  Rock music is designed to rot the mind and control it.  The “establishment” you rebel against is behind this “music”.  Go out in nature and enjoy the sounds of birds and enjoy the night sounds before the voices come

Wear the prettiest clothes you can and enjoy yourself in them. You are NOT too fat. That will come later. Honor the Sabbath with the prettiest clothes you have since one day you will have no one to celebrate the Sabbath with.  Later they will tell you what colors to wear and you will end up in black and brown mostly.

Go on hikes and enjoy nature and freedom. One day you won’t even be able to look out the door without the neighbors screaming at you or go anywhere without an army of stalkers following and mocking you. Get involved in the community and volunteer to help others because when this starts no one will even want you as a volunteer.

Pray to God. Talk to Him. Later you won’t be able because when you pray a computerized voice will answer you with curses. Try to get that Bar Mitzvah. Beg for it and get it.

Do good in school. It’s not a sin to be a good student. “They” don’t like you any more for shunning your schoolwork. Those snotty people at your school will never like you, never. You will still see them from time to time in MIDDLE AGE even–perping you. They are worth nothing. Ignore their names and taunts.

Get to know Jesus really well, as I said before, because their technology can block prayer sometimes.  You might need to hide this from the parents unless you would love to experience Foster Care.

Take care of your teeth, you will need them and dentists will no longer be your friend.

Learn useful things like sewing before they are “forbidden” to you and these torturers do punish.

They are even threatening me more trouble to post this post.

This post will come to you in the MAIL on PAPER with  STAMP.  I am you, decades in the future.

Suicide? you say?  This is my dark future?  My life already sucks old lady, why did you go on living?

I didn’t know, I lived on hope.  It failed.  All I know is we are given a life to live and must complete it or forfeit eternity.  I sure hope they who said that were right.

One Law

You have the power to enact a single law. What would it be?

To make it a felony with attached lengthy jail time to broadcast Voice to Skull and related transmissions into non consenting subjects.  This law would include transmissions by government, military, corporations, and private citizens and non citizens.  This law would also include transmissions by smart machines designed for the perpose of destroying lives and souls.  The Antichrist would pee his pants as this is one of his most important tools in the NWO arsenal.

The way the evil is to come is already here.  By conscripting people into a private army complete with hive mind in order to attack private citizens will set the foundation to develop a whole new evil race of psychopathic humans monsters that will easily accept the Antichrist and not resist him.