Prompt 5

Prompt #5: Can’t believe I just said that

Write about a moment when you said or did something extremely embarrassing or accidentally insulting. Go into detail about the feeling of mortification, and how you felt after you said it.

Does this help exorcise the guilt/embarrassment at all? Can you imagine a fictional character going through the same process?

It was something I did.  The perps keep on putting me in embarassing situations where I say or do the wrong thing via setups and skits, but, this was my fault.

I have 2 men working on a project for me.  While they were there I had to use the bathroom.  I went, then went out to watch the men build my project which I won’t share, since it’s TMI.

I looked down and realized I had forgotten to buckle my belt!  I almost died.  I bet they thought I was trash looking to get it on with them.  I have had other times I forget to buckle my belt, but this was the worst.  I’m not used to belts but these “new” jeans with the short waists need them and they still don’t fit.

I did not know what to do.  I could not bring it up to them so I went, buckled it, and acted like nothing had happened.  End of story.

Could I imagine an imaginary person with this minor but humiliating problem?  I guess.

Britney walked into her first pre Law lecture.  The stadium type class was packed.  There were very few seats.  One nearby would require her to push herself past a whole row of students and their laptops and backpacks.  As she moved into the row to take a seat she kept hearing “ouch” and “clank” and was alarmed.  Several people were giving her looks.  Soon, she found the reason.  Her beautiful new belt that she had bought had been left unbuckled since she left the restroom at 7-11 a half hour ago.

Prompt 3

Prompt #3: Self-Destruct

Rip off a piece of paper and turn of the lights. Begin writing on the paper, but make sure you cannot see what or where you’re writing it. After 25 minutes, destroy the paper completely.

What did you write on that paper that you couldn’t write before? Did the “anonymity” of the writing help you bring out things that you previously couldn’t?

So here’s day 3:  I went into a dark place and wrote what turned out to be unintelligible trash for 25 minutes.  I wrote words on other words so it just looked like a mess.  I shredded it.

A lot of what I wrote I have shared on my old blog.  Just a lot of angst over being a target and what is the use of my life, etc.  I also wrote that I was angry that my passion in life is considered a sin and that I had to die to that sin and also take pills to make me stupid and fat to survive.  I also wondered why small pleasures like vid games and crossword puzzles seemed to be forbidden by God now to me.  I got the perps angry once by writing that the world is a waste now with so many people essentially spying on other people that nothing will get done.  They threatened me.  I hope God protects me.  I also wondered if my mind was going or if the side effects of the pills have dumbed me down so much it only seems that way.  Also if my mind is going, why so young and what should I do?  Heard my perp neighbor giggle over that.  You wish.

I wondered why God would MAKE me take all the joy out of my life (idolatry to a rock band) and then He would not replace it with something else.  It seems as if the promises of joy, peace, assurance, etc. have passed me by.  I was relieved when the time was up as I was writing in the bathroom, it being the only dark place during the day to write.

Location Location Location

The blog Qwik Lit is having prompts. For some fresh Ideas I am going here to try and complete some of them. Posting on gs/v2k/mindcontrol is so depressing to me I cannot do it anymore. This might change. I have found several other blogs lately that are so good and full of content on gs that I think they have it covered. One of them was so good the perps punished me for going on it. If I remember their names I will link them.  One of them was People not Serfs.


Blog idea 1 (these go to 100)

Prompt #1: Location Location Location

Where are you? Your room? A hotel lobby? the top of a burning building? In the finest detail possible, describe everything you possibly can, from the sound to the smell to the temperature. Be extremely specific.

I am in the front room of my apt.  If I had my apt decorated as per “normal” this would be the “living room” or TV room.  There is an empty cable hook up here.  My only phone jack is here.  This is an old building so the room has high ceilings of 10 or 12 feet not the standard 8.  I virtually have no furniture but the few things I have are mostly in this room.

I have one of my father’s old coffee tables to hold the phone on and a 1960s dinette table that I sometimes eat on but usually avoid when I’m by myself since perps look in the window at the front.  I have a leftover computer table that was left here when the old tenant moved 2 doors down and I have junk strewn on its lower shelves.  I have something of a bookcase that was given to me by a woman who was supposed to move out of state with a Prince Charming she met online that never happened.  The bookshelf holds a few books and some candles and other knick knacks from when it was a sort of altar to my dead “idols” gone by.  Now it just holds stuff and collects dust.  If the power goes out the candles would be useful.

I have two calendars on the wall for decoration.  One holds my appointments and the other is only for the pictures.  I have no paintings or any other kind of art in the room so they save the wall from blankness.  I have pictures of my biological family on the floor, unhung.  They were not loyal to me and were only too happy to give me to the perps so I never hang them.  I have a few pictures of my old cat that I had to give up because she had feline AIDS, a pic of one of my estranged sister’s cats and one nephew, and some more recent nephew pictures still in the card that my estranged sister sent.

My blah walls are a low gloss white and the trim is perp allowed brown.  I had to rush out and get curtains for my yearly govt inspection because my current cat destroyed my blinds.

Welcome to my welfare apt!