It all was Planned

Last week, on Pineconeutopia, Karen Stewart, ex-NSA, revealed that Lockheed/Martin, the weapons contractor has human stalking services in 47 states!  I have had very few friends in my life, but, two of them had FATHERS who spent their careers at Lockheed, I know another man who worked there a little bit, and his wife spent her career at RAYTHEON!!!  Everyone I know, or have known has already been cleared by these satanic beasts.

I was also perped and called a “lifer” by a perp at a restaurant while I was trying to enjoy a quiet meal.  It was totally orchestrated, so much, that I even suspect the person who took me knew it was going off.  It was very weird.  The skit seemed planned.  Then, the man who took me to eat told me I had to “come to terms with my “mental illness” and other insults.  No doubt he is being paid to be a handler/babysitter by the perp establishment.  I dared to go shopping once without him and got hell from the neighbors for days.  You know the “retribution” they give you for doing ANYTHING THEY TELL YOU NOT TO DO.

Now, I am not even allowed to wear ANY purple.  It seems they own colors as well.  They act like they own God.  I wore 2 purple fingernails and it seemed Hell broke loose.

Interesting V2k’s these past few months:

“Don’t expose us” after I commented on another ti’s video

“You will think Obama’s administration is paradise” on Inauguration Day in January with the threat life will be Hell under Trump.  Is it sour grapes by liberal perps or real?

“You are not allowed to play your Mp3 outside with earphones”  I have just bought a new Mp3 player because the old one’s microphone was bad and the headphone jack was broken.  I wanted to sit outside and not have to listen to their crap, and that requires earphones jammed into my ears and volume turned up.

“Those are your prison clothes”  Every time I go and get something to wear.

30 years of my life lost to this.  Now I have a sadistic landlady, crime on my block, a false accusation hanging over my head, etc…All of a sudden my looks are completely gone and even look horrible with makeup.  I went out for someone’s birthday and was ashamed of how I looked.

Life in perp prison w/o possibility of parole.  No accusations, no trial, no conviction…NOTHING.  Still, no one outside of the ti community cares.

Another Yom Kippur

Here it is, Fall again, and another Yom Kippur alone.

I should not be concerned about Yom Kippur since I have been or professed Christianity for 20 years.  Yet, I still felt God, or the Holy Spirit driving me to fast Yom Kippur.  If I felt assured of my Salvation I might write it off as bunk or “Judaizing” my faith.  But, I really don’t know if I’m saved since 2010 and even before that.  I had been backsliding since 2003 or so, and I thought I had made it right but this last year has been from hell and I don’t think God is with me anymore.

For four years now, I’ve also been fasting once a week thinking this would keep me in God’s good graces and keep demons and other troubles off me.  It’s a healthy physical practice but I haven’t got much from it spiritually since the fast became just a part of my weekly routine.  I keep hearing negative messages from God (or Voice to Skull?) so I stopped praying pretty much.  If I pray, I get Voice to Skull and it does not seem I get through to God.  I stopped fasting once a week 3 weeks ago but I’ll do Yom Kippur.

I doubt I’d have even considered Christianity if it hadn’t been for the rabbi that rejected me when I was a kid.  I would have stayed put as a Jew and not been abandoned by my family (even though they might have done it because I’m a ti).  I really thought Christianity was the way to go since I had guilty sins on my conscience, and Jesus Christ promised forgiveness of all sins.

About the Bat Mitzvah I never had:  to be honest, it wasn’t that I just missed out on the gifts, the party, the adoring relatives, etc….that is very well for a child and I would have loved it, but I had a deeper feeling of rejection.

I felt you just about pushed me out of Cheder and the Bar/Bat Mitzvah program because God told you to.  I felt you had a pipeline to God and He told you not to give me a Bat Mitzvah.  I didn’t measure up.  At 11 1/2 I was evil, somehow, a defective.  That feeling led to my rebellion in my teen years along with all the bullying and ostracisism.

I thought it would all be cool with God and I when I got “Saved”.  Maybe not.  I had never heard of Predestination until later.  Maybe I’m not one of the elect.  I’m probably not one of the elect.  I still coulda had a Bat Mitzvah.  Did my parents/teachers get their tips on raising me from the devil himself?

Here’s to another Yom Kippur.

Day Thirteen Serial Killer Part 2

On day four, you wrote a post about losing something. Today, write about finding something.

Tell us about the time you retrieved your favorite t-shirt from your ex. Or when you accidentally stumbled upon your fifth-grade journal in your parents’ attic. Or how about the moment you found out the truth about a person whose history or real nature you thought you’d figured out. Interpret this theme of “finding something” however you see fit.

Today’s twist: if you wrote day four’s post as the first in a series, use this one as the second installment — loosely defined.

You could pick up the action where you stopped, or jump backward or forward in time. You might write about the same topic, but use a different style, or use the same style to tackle a neighboring topic.

Not sure how to approach continuity? Here’s a time-tested tip: pick a favorite book or two. Read the last page of chapter one, then the first page of chapter two. How did the author choose to connect these two separate-but-connected narrative units?

In the last installment of a cereal killer I had lost everything:  my freedom, my joy, my laughter, my love of country, any trust I had for my family, any notion that I was “free” in any way.  If everything is lost and is not coming back, what is there to find?  There are small things, and thin comfort they are, but they exist nonetheless.

By losing everything by being a ti you gain the knowledge that everything is not as it seems in life and you are forced to walk around awake and not asleep.  The new knowledge you gain is painful and unpleasant as you see the nice little world around you crumble and ugly realities take their place.  No one is who they seem to be.  You cannot trust the news anymore, you cannot worship celebrities anymore.  Amusements don’t seem fun anymore if there are lots of people there.  You begin to see the multitude of amusements around you as stupifying activities for the hypnotized masses.  They go to amusements to waste time and get their pocketbooks raped.  Even simple passtimes like walking and visiting a library or museum are ruined by the presence of law enforcement and guards everywhere along with aircraft that dog you from the sky and of course the perps.  This is a thin recompense for your past life but at least its real.

You get a keen painful awareness that people are taking all kinds of trouble and time to get ahead in life but that if will give them nothing.  They attend school after school to attain degrees they will never use, or, if they use them at all they will work beneath their potential in a soul stealing job that they will probably lose due to layoffs or whatever whim the “boss” decides to use to get rid of them.  The few that succeed will have their souls (yes their souls) demanded of them if they wish to continue to be successful.  Some good people slip by and work hard in their fields all their life to be laid off with months to retirement and nothing to show for it.  Others will retire with some money only to have a long illness take it all away.  The only ones who grow rich and keep their money and toys are the evil ones.  Everyone else ends up in the poorhouse or in very lean circumstances otherwise.  This knowledge brings you nothing.  The perps even stop you when you try to learn something online to try and “get ahead”.  To learn for the sake of learning and not earning and for personal use and not economic use is a new concept for many,

You realize any happy or joyful moments are rare and do not return.  That any joy does not come from the amusements THEY provide but from God.  The hollow laughter at a sitcom, the scream on the roller coaster, or wild applause at a rock concert are plastic.  Did you ever get the feeling at a concert that you were there and supposed to be enjoying it but you didn’t and you felt crowded out and miserable in the dark amongst people you would cross the street to avoid?  You try to whoop and cheer and forget about it but the whole thing was plastic.  Did you leave the concert feeling cheated, almost raped?  I have.  I never shared that.  People brag about being at this concert or that, but the actual experience sucked.  There is more real joy in watching a bird fly or lightning in a storm.

The loss of family is real and cannot be replaced though.  How can you replace it?  If you have God in your heart and a relationship with Him, He can love you in the absence of family.  You still can’t replace family, though.

Day Twelve way too late

We don’t write in a bubble — we write in the world, and what we say is influenced by our experiences. Today, take a cue from something you’ve overheard and write a post inspired by a real-life conversation. Revisit a time when you wish you’d spoken up, reminisce about an important conversation that will always stick with you, or tune in to a conversation happening around you right now and write your reaction. Take time to listen — to what you hear around you, or what your memories stir up.

 

Today’s twist: include an element of foreshadowing in the beginning of your post.

This assignment is hard for me because as a ti people do not act normally around me.  Even conversations I overhear are usually “directed conversations” designed for me to overhear and to agitate or depress me.  It has been a long long time since people acted normally around me and I didn’t feel the vigilance of people to capture my every word and deed.  I have thought over these last few days of conversations I might have overheard in my family as a child and young person but even those are few and far between.  Even then I was not privy to family secrets and I was also kept from the real life of the family…the love.  I was set apart, kept in the dark.  I do not know if my parents were perps but I certainly was not accepted in the family.  Only on a surface level.  I was a guest in my own house…like a sort of foster child.  There was a wall there put up right around the time I was 8 or 9 or so.

OK, here’s one I heard at my last job, which was over 5 years ago:

A man at our work table announced he had been a father at age 8.  I forgot the response to it.

It’s hard to hear convos even though I try.  Due to my targetting everyone is on guard around me like I’m some criminal.

It’s hard to remember when anyone was natural around me even in an overheard conversation,

 

 

Zombies???

Prompt #2: Zombie Invasion

At this moment, the area you’re in is suddenly ravaged by zombies. With the internet and phone lines cut off, all you have at your disposal are things in your room. What sort of strategies do you use to get out? How do you see things differently now that they can be used for your survival?

Well already we have a TMI post:  I may not like to divulge what I have on “hand” to “resist zombies” considering I think most people are “zombies” enslaved by the system and are easy to bait into being perps.  The bodies are alive but what’s left in the mind?  A vengeful 12 year old child?  I guess this prompt is talking about nasty undead humans though.

If zombies are”soulless undead former humans” then they are animated by demons, right?  If nasty smelly zombies have cut off all our communications then they are intelligent and not easy to catch and destroy.  Would Bible verses and songs keep them off?  Doubt it.  I really have nothing in here to take down a zombie.  Screaming Bible verses and putting Crisco on the ground would only work a little while.

Incinerating them would not kill the “body” and the demon would fly free and get a new body to live in.  You would have to bind the demon in the zombie or demons, cast them out, then destroy the undead “person” who probably would not be moving then, or would they? Unless you have facilities set up to incinerate mass amounts of zombies it would be a stinky mess.  Lots of fire is needed to burn zombies, apparently.

I do not know what zombies are attracted to or what zombies hate.  In this article, it says you need to damage the brain to kill the zombie.  I say cast out the demon making it move.  To get from point A to point B quickly you’d need a firearm unless you had a huge loudspeaker to cast all the demons out of all the zombies in your area.  The “fast” zombies, or still living human zombies are even more threatening but can be killed more easily.

You’d need to stay far enough for the zombies so they cannot bite you.  If they bite, you become one of the undead.  I’m looking around and I don’t see a thing that could hurt a zombie except maybe things that could trip their clumsy lower extremities and make them slip.  Unless I had a helicopter pick me up or I had a huge firearm I would not get out.

This article says the smell of alcohol deters zombies.  Maybe I’d cover myself in wine and run for it but not get far.  Zombies do not like day as much as night.  Maybe I’d wash myself in wine at dawn, and run if I knew where a safehouse was.

I know almost nothing about zombies.

 

Location Location Location

The blog Qwik Lit is having prompts. For some fresh Ideas I am going here to try and complete some of them. Posting on gs/v2k/mindcontrol is so depressing to me I cannot do it anymore. This might change. I have found several other blogs lately that are so good and full of content on gs that I think they have it covered. One of them was so good the perps punished me for going on it. If I remember their names I will link them.  One of them was People not Serfs.

 

Blog idea 1 (these go to 100)

Prompt #1: Location Location Location

Where are you? Your room? A hotel lobby? the top of a burning building? In the finest detail possible, describe everything you possibly can, from the sound to the smell to the temperature. Be extremely specific.

I am in the front room of my apt.  If I had my apt decorated as per “normal” this would be the “living room” or TV room.  There is an empty cable hook up here.  My only phone jack is here.  This is an old building so the room has high ceilings of 10 or 12 feet not the standard 8.  I virtually have no furniture but the few things I have are mostly in this room.

I have one of my father’s old coffee tables to hold the phone on and a 1960s dinette table that I sometimes eat on but usually avoid when I’m by myself since perps look in the window at the front.  I have a leftover computer table that was left here when the old tenant moved 2 doors down and I have junk strewn on its lower shelves.  I have something of a bookcase that was given to me by a woman who was supposed to move out of state with a Prince Charming she met online that never happened.  The bookshelf holds a few books and some candles and other knick knacks from when it was a sort of altar to my dead “idols” gone by.  Now it just holds stuff and collects dust.  If the power goes out the candles would be useful.

I have two calendars on the wall for decoration.  One holds my appointments and the other is only for the pictures.  I have no paintings or any other kind of art in the room so they save the wall from blankness.  I have pictures of my biological family on the floor, unhung.  They were not loyal to me and were only too happy to give me to the perps so I never hang them.  I have a few pictures of my old cat that I had to give up because she had feline AIDS, a pic of one of my estranged sister’s cats and one nephew, and some more recent nephew pictures still in the card that my estranged sister sent.

My blah walls are a low gloss white and the trim is perp allowed brown.  I had to rush out and get curtains for my yearly govt inspection because my current cat destroyed my blinds.

Welcome to my welfare apt!

Struggling

Part III

I got a prep cook job in 1995 right around the time I got saved? and worked there except a few slow periods for over 2.5 years. It was pure misery as I worked with ex cons and others who cussed and drank and bragged about wife beating, etc…I worked for a man who hated me and seemed obsessed with me. Turns out I might have seen him growing up but never met him–his family’s home was 2 blocks away from my grandparent’s house when I was young. He mistreated me and ridiculed me even when he no longer was my boss and he worked in another department in the kitchen. He weighed 400 pounds. He’d make me work through lunch when everyone else was gone.  He would “find” me in his car and want to take me home.  I got out fast when I got there.

My worst enemy from cooking school magically appeared as a new employee. She managed to brown nose the boss and took hours away from me. She would also try and start “fights” with me so she would end up crying (a trick she did in class that almost ended my schooling). She even tried to pry me about my past in the hospital by telling me her story of being in the same hospital a few years later.  I said nothing.  I knew then she was getting her info from somewhere.

She was instrumental in getting me fired.  I saw her shaking the hand of a strange older white woman the day I got fired. (I was forced to quit probably to avoid any lawsuits)  The whole thing had been fixed.  The reason I was fired is that I got into it with an aggro temp from a day service who had it in for me.

After I left almost 3 years of lettuce chopping, meat cutting, and fruit cutting etc…I began to struggle which ended up with me eventually becoming homeless and getting on the dole.

I had temped a bit during that job including working in the BOOKSTORE of the college I had graduated during lulls, but hadn’t been truly unemployed for 3.5 years.  I went to a temp agency that specialized in food jobs and all they got me were dish-washing jobs and one banquet server job and one cashier job.  I also got to give out samples at a warehouse store.  Whoopee.  None of it paid the rent and I got kicked out of my apartment and had to move home to my father.  It was May and I had struggled to survive since the past October.

He was not happy to have me home but he used me to clean the house and cook for him.  I was so hurt and exhausted and bitter I did not work for a few months.  I did a one day stint in a dress shop doing inventory, that’s it.  I did inventory for Sears from an Agency years ago and was offered a job a min wage and no benes.  I did not take it.  This shop did not even need me back the next day.  I did not work until August when I trained to drive a school bus.

They put us through class training, driving training, CPR and everything else for weeks until we went to Motor Vehicles to pass a test and get our special bus license.  Before that we took a road test to pass that as well.  I lost that job in weeks.  A big fat ugly woman blew up at me in the driver’s lunchroom because I had accidentally taken her seat and I got fired.  I knew no one liked me because another driver “narked” on me when I hopped a curb and one of the drivers’ children who went to one of the schools on my route had started a fight hitting a girl half his size.  His mother showed up and screamed at me. They even made me take another urine test.  I knew it would not last.  The stress of getting up at 5:00 am and the job stress made me sick and it was a long time before I felt well.  My father had put me in this little miserable apartment and I hated it.  I moved home again.

There, I continued to look for work but found none and essentially got another month or two off before I went back to the world’s most famous Scottish Restaurant.  This time I was in Drive Thru and at least half of the customers acted like they had it out for me.  I did not know a lot of them were perps.  I hated the job and fell ill due to allergies from the store doing remodeling while I was there.  It took 2 months to get well.  They cut my hours and told me they didn’t like my work.  I asked over and over to be on the “grill” just to get away from customers but for some reason they refused.  I was on Grill the whole time at the other McD’s. It was either Drive Thru or Front Counter.  I gained weight drinking all the soda all day and felt bad overall.  One day the owner’s WIFE came thru the Drive Thru and treated me like hell (I had never met her) and I got fired.  Also some bitch got into it with me over a glass of water–a total skit.

I had moved out again during my McJob and now could not afford rent.  This time my father would not have me home as he had sold the house and he didn’t want me to stay over at his new condo.  I applied for a few jobs, got turned down, then applied for benefits.  I lived an extra month in my apt due to a charity donation then moved into a shelter.  I did not see my father for 2 months after that.  When he did see me he would complain of the 30 bucks a month it cost to leave my stuff in storage.

I was sent to a “clubhouse” for crazies from the mental health center where they tried to get everyone to work and tried to scam people out of their benefits.  I got my benefits when I was there and was threatened by one of the workers that I would LOSE my benefits if I didn’t participate in Job Service and Voc Rehab.  It was a lie but I did get a few jobs before I got rent assistance to help with bills.  Voc Rehab found me a job filing right on the premises for 6 months, I worked at Burger King a whole week, worked for a charity that provided meals for home bound sick people and then took my last job with a service for “disabled” people who wanted work.  It was the last “regular” job I ever had.

It was in a hospital right by my apartment so I could walk to work.  That was the only good part.  I could feel the hatred the first day.  Only one woman was nice to me and she was an Apostate Christian (prob another perp special) who hated Christ and complained about everything all the time.  It was filing again and there were tons of files.  Some were so high I had to climb on a stool to get them and others were at floor level so I had to sit on the stool or the floor to get to them.  I was sexually and racially harassed by a man there and no one did anything.  The only good part of the job was the cafeteria and the coffee cart.  A strange thing that happened was that I saw the name of the first doctor who put me on Stelazine worked there and was a winner of some kind of contest run by the cafeteria.  There was a teen psych ward and Eating Disorders hospital there then.  Poor kids, having her as a doc.  I was horrified she would find out I worked there.  Mercifully the job ended in 3 months.  That was 2001.

Aside from volunteer jobs and a very very part time gig I had a few years ago I’m sitting on the dole.  It’s 2013.  So much for the American Dream.

Successful???

sheeple

What would it take for you to consider yourself a “successful blogger”? Is that something you strive for?

I don’t want to be famous or even rich. I want to create the blog post that will go viral and put the cause of ti’s out there so it cannot be ignored any more. NO more tin foil hats and being called crazy.  No more false psych diagnoses.

The sleeping sheeple know it’s going on but need forcible waking, quickening– to really see it for what it is and to know it is not acceptable for themselves or for others to go through this. Lives are being destroyed and sucked up through thin air into nothing by these programs. Even when a famous writer, Gloria Naylor, wrote about this, she slid into obscurity. I’m sure she never went back onto Oprah.

I think people like their chains and slavery and make a deal with themselves that it’s better this way than the other–as in they themselves being a target. The moral and ethical issues go right past them. They are non religious and amoral creatures dedicated to the love and pampering of self.  Their parents were the same way.  It was all about “me”, the “me” decade.  People raised in the 80s and later don’t even get what’s wrong.

Plus, if you are free, you have to make decisions and get involved in life…no one has time anymore.  Everyone is a single parent, or working 2 jobs, or is addicted to World of Warcraft.

Even Alex Jones pooh poohed it on his show.  He invalidated the experience of thousands if not millions of listeners…but he knows where his bread is buttered.  See his video response to a question on it.  What a joke.  People used to be automatically banned from his forum for bringing up gangstalking.

The religious act interested at first until they realize they become targets by helping targets.

I wonder what I’d be like if I were on the other side.  Would I care about targets?  Would I call them crazy?  Would I avoid even visiting the target sites like the plague for fear of “catching it”?  Would a perp recruit me to harass a neighbor after showing me a gussied up fake file?  Would I be afraid not to do it?  What if my relative became a target????

I am of the opinion people in this country are living in fear and debt barely running in place floating on a pillow of sugar, caffeine and psych drugs along with TV and rock music.  If they saw reality the govt would need to requisition 300 million syringes full of Thorazine all ready to shoot as everyone would go completely mad.