New Year Blues

It is the afternoon of Dec. 31, 2017.  Soon yet another year will come.  How was your year?  Mine sucked again.  After all the excitement over the new President, my gs and V2k only got worse.

I have enjoyed? watching the Forum with (now) Ramola D., but she has fewer viewers and less traffic but she is growing slowly.  Having non-ti’s involved (Paul and Mindy) seemed to make the show more “legit” somehow to outsiders who could be convinced.  I like the show but the reason for having to watch it is ABOMINATION. How can we, in the land of the “free” be worse off than slaves?

The Construction is over for now on my street but a new phone tower is up and running literally in the front yard.  My cat checked out at the vet, thank God.  She is not that young anymore.  It’s very cold now after a very long warm Fall.

I was alone for Thanksgiving and Christmas and now New Year.  My “friend’s” situation has improved.  She has been discharged from the hospital and is now home and has her car.  She was acting like she didn’t want her cats back.

The shit with my therapist hurt the most.  I won’t trust a therapist again.  I thought we were “close”.  We laughed, we joked, I shared pics of my cat with her.  I even bought a tiny t shirt to put on the cat to show her.  The cat hated it.  I went through all kinds of shit with her since early 2015 and thought she would be there for me.  Now I have no one to tell my stuff to.  Friends come and go but I didn’t think a therapist would shank me like that.  She really helped me in late 2015 when I was literally falling apart, and then again in 2016.  This year it seems we were sort of just hanging in there.

My “sister” will be 50 this coming year and I still have not seen her since 2005.  13 years.  Sick of using FB to check up on her.  She is blessed to even be 50.  She has had cancer and heart disease already.

I am still sitting under the shadow of that false accusation.

I wish there was better news to tell.

 

 

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Long time no write

I have not written in a long time essentially due to lack of reader interest.  I feel I must put something out however.  The perps are in an all out war with me and I feel helpless and very hopeless.

Way back on Inauguration Day I  I heard a V2k telling me not to look forward to the Trump administration because it would be WORSE for me.  I assumed it was sour grapes from an upset Liberal perp.  Things have gotten much worse very fast these past few months.

The tiny few things in my life are all gone.  It started the Friday before Halloween.

I was out with this man who takes me to my appointments, etc and he was buying me and my on/off friend I have (see previous posts) dinner at Subway.  The only reason I was having him drive me around is because the gangstalking and threats have become so bad when I’m alone on the bus I started using him to take me around because he offered.  That is a post in itself and I can’t get into it here but let’s just say we haven’t really been getting along since Trump get elected.

What usually happens is that he takes me to whatever appointment I need to go to and also goes by the store with me so I don’t run out of food. He also took me out to lunch sometimes at pretty expen$ive places like we were dating or something. Well, this day was Friday and I needed to also be dropped off at my friend’s house about 10 miles from my apartment.  She was on the phone per usual demanding she get bought a meal as well.  He hasn’t been getting along with her and does not want to buy her meals or eat with her but agreed to pick up fast food.

When we got to Subway, even though I was full from the big lunch we ate a few hours before, he asked me if I wanted anything so I agreed to let him buy me dinner since my friend is sort of stingy with her food and probably only offer me a cheese sandwich or something if I didn’t come with food.

I ordered her sandwich per her instructions (roasted chicken sub with everything on wheat bread) and ordered my sandwich as well.  I was going to pay but the man who takes me around wanted to so he did.  I went to get my drink and he went to get hers at the drink fountain.

While I was pouring and capping my drink I noticed his fingers twiddling over my cup.  I was nervous but hoped it was just a nervous habit.   I didn’t notice him doing anything to her drink.  As we were leaving I saw him wiping his hand on his shirt and became suspicious.  I had also noticed his hand hovering over my drink bottle and even resting on it in the recent past when in his car and was getting paranoid of him.

He drove me to my friend’s house a few blocks away, and I started to eat my meal and I was so thirsty I drank part of my drink with a straw thinking whatever he put was on top and the straw takes the drink from the bottom.  I poured out at least half of it.  I warned her that he might have spiked our drinks, but, of course, she just fluffed me off as usual.

Later that evening I got into a particularly angry fight with my friend and she wanted to kick me out or call that guy who drives me around but then we went to bed.  She never ate her sandwich or drank her drink, telling me that she had eaten an entire pizza earlier.  I asked her why she wanted food not to eat it and she said “he always buys you food so I wanted some too and will eat it tomorrow.”

After a tense day which included her cat running off and having her perp “neighbors” help catch him, we went to the store.  I was too upset to go inside.  I carried her groceries inside her apartment and she packed up some stuff to spend the night at my apartment.  She took her Subway meal.  She said she’d eat that rather than me feeding her.  She even angrily grabbed her sandwich when we were getting out of her car at my apt. letting me take everything else of course.

I was angry and tired by the time we finally got to my apartment.  She ate her dinner and I must have eaten something of my own.  After she ate she just plopped on my bed and said how tired she was.  She went to sleep right away.  I decided to unwind before bed by watching You Tube.  She was thrashing and moaning in her sleep as I did this but thought it was her arthritis.  She usually just snores loudly.  She has RA.

I finally crawled into bed at 3am and awoke to her using the bathroom at only 6am.  I called her name several time but she would not answer.  Finally she said “bitch”.  I said, “what”?  Then she described a dream where I was attacking her and she had to kill me.  She said she was done with me and was leaving right now.  I kept asking her if she didn’t want breakfast, etc…but she ran off with her laundry and her change of clothes and groceries for our breakfast and went right home.

I was angry and shocked but not too surprised since she “turns” on me all the time and does not talk to me for sometimes up to a year.  I would have nothing to do with her except she HAD two adorable tomcats and it was a place to get away from my apartment (perp central).  Then started the calls.

She would call, call, call, me all the time sounding crazier and crazier but never come over.  I got news that a damn nurse was giving her her “meds”.  She already has LOTS of housekeeping including cat care so she virtually does nothing but attend a food bank that she does not need and the store and doc appointments.

Apparently, she was going very crazy and threatening everyone she knows and her trustee was getting very involved with her life to “help” her as well as this chick connected with the state that takes her to the doctors to supervise them in order to make sure the doctors don’t take advantage of her.  This chick has been no help ( I call her a “chick” because I have no respect for her and think she wants my friend’s money) to her and even a hindrance.  My friend has tried to get rid of her and can’t because she signed all kinds of crap literally giving her life away to the state if anything “happened” to her.  This was only a few MONTHS before my friend’s “nervous breakdown”.

Nothing was helping.  My friend would not drive her own car nor do anything else but yell on the phone all day.  One day she said that she was coming to my house because she was afraid she was going to get institutionalized.  She did this three times and never showed up.  I was afraid she was going into the hospital too, and wanted to keep her cats until she got out but my darling perp landlady refused to let them stay.

The last time she said she was “definitely” coming to my house she went the other way to that man’s house because later I found out she was “scared” of me.  She had her cats in the car.  She has never been to this man’s house and got lost and then found by a cop who took her car to impound, her cats to the pound, and my friend to the hospital.  She was transferred to a very locked ward the next day and is supposedly coming home today with nurses over there every day to watch her take her “meds” which now probably include antipsychotics.  She has no cats and her damn money hungry FATHER has her car.  Her new SUV.  The one cool car she has ever had.

I think we were slipped drugs at Subway by the man I will call C.  I got angry the night I ate and drank and forgot later what we argued about.  She ate her sandwich and drank her whole drink then has been on a downward spiral ever since.  I think we got dropped acid.  I only drank half my drink so my effect was less.  I have never seen my friend have a nightmare like that one.  I think he, that damn chick who goes to the doctor with her and her father and GOD KNOWS WHO ELSE have conspired to take her down and get her money by becoming “power of attorney” and also to take me down and put me in the street to die there since V2k has assured me NO ONE will help me if I become homeless.  I have had many nightmares of this situation.

In my life, it has not been easier.  I decided to stop talking to C. after a few weeks seeing a plot afoot.  He started a few months ago being very rude to me and acting in a sexual manner around me by flicking his tongue and leering and rubbing his leg in the car.  I finally said it was “enough” and he said “good luck” and dropped me off.  But he didn’t stop calling.  I told him to leave me alone and finally accused him of doing the things I think he did that Friday night.  He stabbed me in the back my calling my therapist and lying and saying I was in danger.  I was sitting at the computer when TWO squad cars with their lights on and a “therapist” showed up to the house.  I did not let them in and assured them I was fine.

I quickly got to the bottom of it and after initially lying, C. admitted to the whole thing.  Then I angrily left my therapist a message.  She called back but instead of apologizing and saying she made the wrong decision, she defended herself and said “we would talk about it in the next session”.  I went to the next session, alone on the bus along with perping and another random accusation against me angry as hell.

I told her she was fired and she just said “ok” like it was nothing even though I have worked with her for over 3 years–the longest therapist I have had in the mental health system–and then she tried to coldly defend herself like she was the Queen of the mental health center.  (my friend says mental sickness)  I gave her plenty of openings to apologize and say she made a wrong judgement by not calling me first but she was not having it.  I left without a therapist.  She even “kindly” offered to haul me back off to my old office so I could see my old shrink (I have both shrink and therapist) and get a “new” therapist.  I am all out of trust so I said no the offer and said I’d keep my doctor at the new place miles further from my home.  Did she get paid too???  I have never had a therapist betray me like this.  I’m usually scared of the doctors since they have the pills.

So now I’m down a friend, the guy who helped me, two feline friends, and a therapist.  I thought God might be angry at me.  Then, one morning I went onto the porch to hear two perps talking to each other saying that this was a takedown operation in “stages” and the other perp said she was so “excited”.  I don’t know what precipitated this huge uptake in my gangstalking but have a few guesses.  My landlady is sick of taking the bus with me to the store, appointments and now I have to go alone and am very scared of being attacked, robbed, etc.

I have started reading ebooks since Summer when the angry construction workers mocking me all day started, and V2k threatens me with living outside in the cold if I continue to read.  They also have an obsession with the color pink and threaten me not to wear it.  I bought a pink t-shirt in defiance of this but when I went to put it on I heard a voice say, “If you put that on you will not know what hit you.”  Since I already do not know what “hit me” I put the t-shirt down.  Yesterday I found a very close replica of one of my get this–BRAS–in the front yard with the unsaid warning not to wear it since it has a pink BOW.  I hate these soulless Nazis.  Braindead hive minded zombies.

I don’t know if you will believe this story but it’s true.  My gangstalking and V2k predation have gotten much worse since Trump got in and they were very bad to start with under Obama.  I have been a ti since Reagan was President.

I’m very isolated now and my blog seems virtually abandoned since Neverending1 disappeared.  I guess I’m posting this as evidence if anything happens to me.  The problems from before (previous posts) still continue.

This is the worst part.  I was interrogated in my sleep with what sounded like cops asking me about two people I hate. I failed the interrogation since I was asleep and had no defenses.  This was not the first time I have been “questioned” in my sleep.  Since they know everything already and access our minds asleep and awake, why have cops. It was like a “precrime” session to determine if I’d hurt my hateful neighbor and someone else.  I’m terrified.