Good Book

w/o Internet at home I have more time to read..and read.  Just finished a 400+ page book called Straight Into Darkness by Faye Kellerman.  It is about pre-Hitler Germany and how a troubled understaffed police department and a detective with at least a few morals left solve a case of mass murder in Munich or “lustmord” which is I think the definition of “love of death” or something.  It also examines the state of the art and entertainment around Germany at that time.  Munich was sort of a place of middle class “respectability” compared to Berlin…so they did not get the hootchie cootchie shows as much but they did have Kabarets, or nightclubs.  It also explores the world of 1920s German art which had themes of violence (the lustmord) as well.  The main character watches as Hitler rises, and his rallies and his (eventually disposable) Brownshirts become more and more violent and how the police have trouble controlling the riots from the rallies and how the police and populance become more and more sympathetic to the Nazi cause and how honest people like Axel Berg (the main character) are getting fewer and fewer.  Kellerman leaves you guessing to the end who the killer is and the ending is a big surprise.  It is a good read for a ti as perps have been compared to Brownshirts over and over again.  Another theme is…drum roll…FOOD.  German pub food sucks apparently, and if the Germans had a better cuisine they probably would not have had to have so many wars.  I bet Postwar Germany is full of Chinese, Mexican, Indian and American food.  Kellerman uses lots of German phrases to make the novel seem authentically German even though it is written in English.  I recognized a few German words due to my Grandmother using some Yiddish words even though she spoke English.  She also spoke Yiddish and my mother understood it.  I can only make out a few food words.  Apparently Jewish food is German food, essentially, sort of like Macrobiotic food is Japanese food, essentially…except for SAUSAGE.  The Jews ate Brisket and bird not sausage

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Still no computer

Over a month. They are definitely keeping me offline at home. I tried to respond to a blog post but something happened. I’m at a wifi spot. The last time I had a birthday party was at age 10, and then had cake and ice cream at age 20 at a mental health halfway house. Parents would take me out to dinner, that’s it. Even college graduation was muted. I thought I would finally get the party I was missing. We went out for COFFEE after the ceremony. Remember, I missed HS graduation and my Bat Mitzvah. I was waiting for the PARTY. My “friend” and I went out for each other’s birthdays but she would want the most expensive food and try to undercut my birthday dinner to a cheap place.

No one hears my voice except perps as I respond in anger and I shouldn’t but they did me one worse when I ignored them about 2010.

I know I’m not crazy but was labeled as such to shut me up and to eventually kill me.