No Puter?

Your life without a computer: what does it look like?

Way back in 1991 when I “moved out” from home I not only had no computer, I had no TV. I would read a lot and listen to hours of talk radio before bed. I especially liked the man who did his show after midnight.  Later on, I would listen to Air America (the perps forbade that EVENTUALLY LOL) and listen to Mike McCoy? take down all the neocons.

My first birthday after leaving home I got voila! a TV.  After that, I would watch some TV but not all the time.  I still had time for books and endless music listening at top sound. And eating.  I’d go out and buy food to binge on at night when the store was closer.  I watched Oprah, 90210, Dharma and Greg, ER, and the Saturday cooking shows along with Masterpiece Theatre and Are You Being Served?  Later on I got hooked on CSI type shows and HSN.

I was never on the Internet until 1997 and I put something into a search engine about diet guru Susan Powter (what happened to her?) and got a satanists web page as a result.  It confirmed my fears:  the Internet was invented by satan.

A few years later I got an email address for the first time (no home puter yet) and found there were just as many Christian Sites (if not more) on the Web than the bad guys had.  Good, now the Web was Converting the Masses.  Later, I found out it had a bit of everything and I was hooked.  I lost it laughing at James Lileks Institute of Official Cheer food section and almost got kicked out of the computer center where I was.

I had an email account and one pen pal that lasted about a year or less.

In very early 2005 I finally admitted it to myself I was a ti.  After spending hours at the library computers (unlimited at the time) and at a friend’s computer I finally got hooked up at home to join Yahoo mailing groups like Mulitstalk.  I learned to Instant Message as well.  I was hooked.  I started a blog right away on another platform then another three before settling on WordPress in 2007. I ran that Blog until 2011 then I took a break until this February. I am now a computer addict since I have little to do otherwise.  The perps even limit my BOOK reading to 50 pages a day.  I used to enjoy very long days at the park with books and snacks from home (when broke) and fattening crap from 7-11 (when not broke).  I got a long walk in as well.  I was also on supplements and no psych drugs.  I felt younger than I had in years and much stronger.  No more moaning and groaning moving around.

Did I answer the question?  What would I do if there were no more computers?  When my first computer broke I’d haunt libraries but it was not a great fix.  If there were NO computers at all the surveillance grid might go down and I might be free of V2k.  I definitely would want to read more.  I’d probably listen to more radio.  After my operation, I could not sit for long and sat in bed listening to hours of Dr Laura (who is no longer around–got taken down for saying a semi racial thing, sort of like Paula Deen) and also Coast to Coast since I got only little sleep until I could lie all the way down.  I really loved Dr. Laura and want to know who the little twit was that took her down.  Laura was abrasive and insulting along with giving good advice:  what on Earth did she say?

I could not go back to my Heavy Metal for music and if the computer were down I could not download songs.  I’d have to carry a transistor like a crazy old man. Maybe I’d get a metal detector to pick up old pennies all day and wear white slacks and mumble to myself.  I should have kept my old walkman that played tapes.  Who sells tapes anymore though?  NO TV, no computer, no MP3, I’d have to get a job.

I’d be flipping burgers listening to Paul Harvey tell THE REST OF THE STORY.

Schooled like a fish

Today’s Daily Prompt: If you could take a break from your life and go back to school to master a subject, what would it be?  Today’s schools indoctrinate rather than educate and produce slightly educated dummies back into society, but, without the piece of paper its impossible to get ahead unless you have a friend or relative who will let you apprentice under them.  No one ever cared to take me under their wing at work:  I was always given the stupidest and easiest tasks so I could be gotten rid of easier…I was almost always fired or pressured into quitting.  The best school is the Bible but it won’t get you a job, not even in a church…

I could think of a few things to study but all study is wasted unless applied. I had a post on my old blog on what I would do if I was ever “free” again (if such a thing even exists). I decided to go back and learn baking and open a bakery in a small town and I would live in a cabin far out of town and spend time in nature when I was off work not in a stinking city (where I am on perpose).  The electronic oppression is greatest in city centers.  There is an antenna on one of the buildings that is like 100 feet high.

I also wanted to be a librarian because that USED to be the last bastion of “freedom” but now guards watch the patrons (they even have UNDERCOVER GUARDS) and even watch what you look at off the shelf. Every thing you check out is reported to the govt if you are a ti, especially. My mother waxed poetic at the power of the free lending library and what a wonderful place it was. She died long before 9/11.  Would she be disgusted at what goes on now or would she crumble and accept their “new normal”..piss on them.

I often thought about being a doctor or a nurse to take care of people to “serve others” to give back to God and because I think I’m smarter than what pass as “doctors” today, mere toadies and slaves to the government and insurance companies and drug companies. I have found a laziness in them that is disturbing.    A lot of doctoring is having discernment and a hunch of what is going on and these little idiots don’t have one brain in their head as they spent school years partying and drugging and only studying for tests.  How they pass the internship/residency in the hospital is a mystery to me.  On TV they socialize a lot and seem to put patients second.

The fourth one is weird. I would love to be a detective, to help those who have no other help get the help they need to save them from those who harass them and threaten them. To save those whom the police ignore and fluffs off. To deliver the miserable back into life and take the oppressor to their punishments. Take the oppressors off the pleasure couch and deliver the victims off the bed of thorns.

I would love to own a home and open it to REAL victims not police stooges. I had one of those phonies, I will not take another stranger in again. People who are being entrapped in their lives and have nowhere else to go.  Homeless, or even worse in a nest of hostile “neighbors” tracking their every movement and cursing every hour of their day.

Finally Food

If a restaurant were to name something after you, what would it be? Describe it. (Bonus points if you give us a recipe!)

Finally something I could write about:

I love food, big surprise.

A perp had an idea, call the sandwich “I am the cheese” because the cheese stands alone. Stuff it, perp. I read the synopsis of the book, too. Very sad.

When I was a kid my 1st grade teacher took out a can of “teeny weenies” called vienna sausage.  I was so jealous.  I wanted a can of teenie weenies every day for lunch.  I guess there is a sandwich for that.  Once when I was a volunteer cook I made a dish with teenie weenies sticking out to show my ire…it was based on something that would appear on James Lilek’s site.  I actually served it.

eat it I made it for you
Here’s dinner you ingrates


A typical sandwich you could name after me is the quesa-whatever. Take a huge tortilla and put cheese and whatever else you have in the kitchen on it and melt. You could include cilantro, fried or raw onions, tomato, canned beans. leftover steak, chicken, etc.

Another sandwich could be the dcms2 War Sandwich. We are all in a War and this old sandwich is pretty sad. It was bread, mayo and raw onion due to meat shortages. They could fancy it up by grilling the onions and adding sundried tomato mayo and sweet potato fries along with a giant wartime Mountain Dew (with sugar) and a pint of whatever ice cream you choose.

If it was a deli, hmmmm. It would be on black rye. Swiss, avocado and egg on black rye with sweet potato fries and a waiter with a bad attitude.


If you could be a “fly on the wall” anywhere and at any time in history, where and when would you choose?

Hmmmm, that is SO HARD. Of course, I would want to be around, covertly, when the perps decided to target me so I could do anything I could do to prevent it from happening.

I also want to know “why” this is happening to me so they can’t use fake reasons to fill me with guilt and misery.

Also, I’d want to know where I could go to get away from this even to the ends of the Earth.

Go to your Stats page and check your top 3-5 posts. Why do you think they’ve been successful? Find the connection between them, and write about it.

My top 5 posts are boring…the first one is the one I reblogged on that Clare woman who was an abuser that this woman outed a while back. She was the nasty English teacher, remember? Her daughter was “outing” her to destroy her life because her mother destroyed her life as a child and teen.

My next most popular page is the “home page” because my followers use it to keep up.

Third, is my little post on what I would do for an “ideal community”.  I have lived “in community” several times so I kind of had a perspective on that.  I thought my deliberate community could become a ministry to at risk young women up to 25 or so.

Fourth, was my post “companion piece” where I posted a post from another ti, Neverending1, that mirrored my life.  What a coincidence!  We both get crap thrown on the ground to “remind” us that they are around even when we see no perp.

Fifth was the post about Valentine’s Day way back in February, when I posted to my greatest love, FREEDOM, which real ti’s are deprived of in almost every way.

My most active day was way back in April.  This blog is a total bust.

Does Clare what’s her name have any more daughters?

End of Bible Study

estherI’m finally ending 2 1/2 year Bible Study I started after J Vernon McGee ended his last “Bible Bus”. I’m in the Book of Esther. The last book of the Old Testament. I finished the New Testament part of the Study months ago. The Bible is sort of lopsided, there being over twice as many Old Testament books and many more pages than the New Testament.

Anyway, the Book of Esther is one of my favorites since it is the story of a bully and how a nice peasant girl is risen up to be Queen via a contest of all things only to be given the responsibility to save her people (the Jews) when the bully decides to curry the King’s favor to get him to make an order to kill all Jews.

Esther fasts for three days then comes to the King (Xerxes) unbidden even though she might risk death doing so.  The King has mercy and lifts his scepter and she is able to make her request:  a banquet for the King and Haman (the bully) to attend.  At the first banquet she requests a second banquet and at the second banquet she spills the beans and tells the King that Haman is plotting against her people.  The King becomes enraged and hangs Haman (some people call him an early day Hitler) on the gallows he had made to hang Esther’s cousin, Mordecai.

After that, the King makes an edict that states that if anyone attacks Jews on the day that was set apart to do this (sometime in our February) the Jews could fight back.  God strengthened the Jews and many joined them and the day became a feast instead of a slaughter…a feast still celebrated today with food, drink and costume parties:  Purim, or the feast of the Pur, or lot, since Haman had cast lots to determine the “right” day to kill the Jews.

How does this apply to me?  To us?  The bullies are the perps and are headed by the elite “Haman” people.  The people prayed and fasted as one along with the Queen and God heard them.  The enemy, Haman, along with his TEN sons hung on gallows right in front of their house!  I pray often that the snare the enemy has set for me that he will fall into.  The Book is about that and also how God found it in His Mind to redeem His people even though they were captive in a strange land due to their sin.

The Hamans are all over and although we once thought we were citizens we are strangers in a strange land we find out with few if any rights.  May the Lord use the weapons and snares the perps determine against us against them.

The strange thing is, is this did not have to happen.  Saul was supposed to kill all the Amalekites but he failed to do that and this man was a descendent of this “devoted” tribe (devoted by God to be killed) and was hot for revenge against the Jews.  Some of us might be targets due to past mistakes which are now blown up out of proportion and added to to create a monster in the perps’ imaginations.  The perps want us to concentrate on the past and to feel like dog shit for it. Now is the time to put away the guilt of past mistakes and repent to God for them then pray for our deliverance from these modern day Hamans.

Used to get outta here

Tell us about the farthest you’ve ever traveled from home.


The furthest I’ve been from home is….Scotland.  I went the year I got targetted, right before it began.  It was a graduation gift from my Grandma for graduating college.   My sister netted two cars and a trip to the Middle East for graduating HS and college.  I was happy to get anything.  It was kind of a shitty tour because most of it was seen from a bus and anything really fun or interesting was “extra” and my Grandma was not willing to pay an extra (exhorbitant) 45 pounds to see the Crown Jewels in London or to go eat Haggis in Scotland.  (not Kosher anyway).  Any side trip was extra.  If we got off the bus to see any attraction there was always a “gift shop” at the end…I got so tired of seeing the inevitable gift shops and all the crowds. Scotland was a little better:  the people were not rude and I got to climb this tower.  It was so narrow at the top only one person could go by.  It was sort of scary.  We also went to a lake in Scotland and saw Sir Walter Scott’s home.  Also we stayed in a small city besides Edinburgh (where we had a nice hotel for once) that coincidentally I had a regular on my blog that was from there.  He lived in the poor area of town and was perped all to hell.  They had some kind of wool mill there.

I felt perped in the small Northern city of Chester.  It was considered to be one of the “first” shopping malls as the ancient city had a two tiered shopping area.

I noticed a man in the crowd that seemed to be keeping track of me.  That year and the year before a few “odd” things had happened to me but nothing alarming.  It wasn’t until the late Fall of that year that I noticed that large group of much older people observing me like I was an animal in a cage at the local coffee shop that I went to to escape home, do homework and write letters (on paper!).

I have never really been anywhere since then.  I have mostly kept within 100 miles of my city (I call it the Prison) since then. I went to visit a person I thought was a ti about 100 miles away.  I have been to a small town maybe 150 miles away on a wildlife tour last year but it was only one night.

There was one exception:  I took one miserable SHORT trip to see my sister about a decade ago.  I spent most of the time in the hotel.  We did do Sabbath Dinner, that was the highlight of the trip.  I was never asked back, and, since 2005, we have not talked much and none since about 2008.

I don’t want to go as far as Scotland, but I want to explore the American Wilderness and camp all over the Rockies in multiple states, hike the Appalachian Trail and go deep into the desert to try and lost the perps. LOL.  I still want the magic cabin where only the people I want to come see me can come.  Literally, though, I would cross the Universe to escape the perps.

Lately, they have been all over me.

Another Prompt–in different words

If one experience or life change results from you writing your blog, what would you like it to be?

I wrote that I wanted to put something in a blog to prevent becoming invisible.  That my life would not matter.  I avoided blogging between Feb 2011 and Feb 2013 because I thought the perps would “leave me alone” a bit if I had no online presence and did not read online blogs.  I started to feel isolated and alone in the world.  A piece of thrown away trash that would be allowed to exist then die.  Then, in early 2013, the harassment stepped up again.  I don’t know why but it seems to go up around elections and inaugurations, etc..especially with this president.  I decided to start posting again.

It was probably a mistake.  I don’t have the readers I had and my old readers (few as they were) did not come back.  I’m not as inspired to write as I was before.  I see nothing to get excited about.

I would like this blog to make a difference in my life somehow.  Maybe to keep me safe from excessive perp attack, to show I still exist, to show I’m not braindead or human trash, I don’t know.

Attacks are worse than ever.  Sometimes I am at a loss what to do.  Sometimes I think of ending it all.  Every day is a new hell.  Morning is usually the worst knowing I will have to face a whole new day of this.  Today I woke up with a headache/earache as well.  Lovely.

And all of this on public transportation.  Perp transpo.  There is a driver in this city who gets off on perping me so much I got off his bus and waited in the heat for the next one.  He graciously said “fuck you” when he handed me my transfer and watched laughed and smirked at me in the mirror until I got off only a mile after I started.  I would get his bus number, etc but it would do no good.

My life sucks as always.


Sorry about the lag in posting, I am so depressed and uninspired that I can’t find inspiration to write the Daily Prompts. Some I don’t like others would provide too much information about me.

I bought a paper diary to write thoughts on my Bible Study but it became a bitching book full of grief over gangstalking and misery.  As soon as I started the diary my life took a dive and the perps went out of control.  It even seemed God would not help me. The perps don’t want a written record of this even though it can be sluffed off as the writings of someone crazy were it found.  For some reason writing on the Net does not make the perps as angry.  Maybe because they can push a button and erase someone off the Net but a paper diary is slightly but only slightly harder to destroy.  I have been tempted to post it but its really angry and revealing about myself and others.  It has become an albatross around my neck.  Keeping it is a burden because I have to carry it everywhere–shredding it means I concede defeat again and give up yet another piece of my life to the perps.

Strange, I have other paper diaries, one of which is posted here, that they don’t care about.  I guess it’s because they were written before I was aware of the nightmare of my life.  Well, that’s it.