Prompt 3

Prompt #3: Self-Destruct

Rip off a piece of paper and turn of the lights. Begin writing on the paper, but make sure you cannot see what or where you’re writing it. After 25 minutes, destroy the paper completely.

What did you write on that paper that you couldn’t write before? Did the “anonymity” of the writing help you bring out things that you previously couldn’t?

So here’s day 3:  I went into a dark place and wrote what turned out to be unintelligible trash for 25 minutes.  I wrote words on other words so it just looked like a mess.  I shredded it.

A lot of what I wrote I have shared on my old blog.  Just a lot of angst over being a target and what is the use of my life, etc.  I also wrote that I was angry that my passion in life is considered a sin and that I had to die to that sin and also take pills to make me stupid and fat to survive.  I also wondered why small pleasures like vid games and crossword puzzles seemed to be forbidden by God now to me.  I got the perps angry once by writing that the world is a waste now with so many people essentially spying on other people that nothing will get done.  They threatened me.  I hope God protects me.  I also wondered if my mind was going or if the side effects of the pills have dumbed me down so much it only seems that way.  Also if my mind is going, why so young and what should I do?  Heard my perp neighbor giggle over that.  You wish.

I wondered why God would MAKE me take all the joy out of my life (idolatry to a rock band) and then He would not replace it with something else.  It seems as if the promises of joy, peace, assurance, etc. have passed me by.  I was relieved when the time was up as I was writing in the bathroom, it being the only dark place during the day to write.