We have not talked in almost 10 years.  I still don’t know why you are so angry with me.  I begged forgiveness and a reconciliation back in 2002 and you said it would “take time”.  I guess that means forever.  You sent me a letter last year but began it with a lie, saying, you had no other way to get ahold of me when I tried to call many times only to be told by your husband you could not come to the phone.

I called after the Tornadoes and had a brief very chilly conversation with my oldest nephew.  After that I gave up the calling.  You have never tried to email me or call or anything.

I realize our parents tried to drive us apart when we were young because they thought I would drag you down.  They are gone now.

The religious issues are bunk because no one cared whether I got a religious education or not–even as late as the early 1990s.  Would you have me sit as an atheist?  You said you did not care if I changed religions.

In your carefully crafted letter to me you described Dad’s condition, spoke of your pets, but nothing of you or your family.  I felt so left out.  I did go visit the gravesite a few weeks later finally.  I do not think I would have liked to have been at the funeral since you invited your friends that hate me.  Even the graveyard staff were abusive when I took a long bus ride to visit.

The religion thing is bunk.  You invited our cousin to my nephew’s Bar Mitzvah and she was married to a MUSLIM.  You also invited your FRIENDS.  Never your sister.  Holidays and birthdays go by without even a card.  I refuse to call again and get your husband or one of my nephews saying “she is taking a nap” or some other crap.

That puny 4 days I got to spend with you years ago is long past.

Is this going to be forever?  I don’t have other sisters, or other family.  Our cousin lives only a mile away but never calls.  I saw another of our cousins during a cooking class and she treated me like a virtual stranger.  I have once seen another one of our cousins seemingly stalking me as I took a walk.

There may be very good reasons why you don’t want to contact me.  Maybe you are threatened with targeting if you do.  Maybe you just can’t stand to be around me anymore.  I have no idea.  Maybe my poverty or body size repels you.

I will be having a big birthday soon.  I don’t want to grow old not talking to you.

Whatever I have done to you I am sorry.  Even if it’s from childhood.


Your Sister