The Last One

The last person I could really talk to on earth has been assimilated into the perps.  I had a horrible day yesterday with perps sitting and hanging around across the street from me and called him to come down here to Hell and rescue me.  I waited half an hour outside for him I was so eager to leave.

He started acting weird as soon as I got into the car.  He acted like he didn’t want to leave my “neighborhood” and went in circles, then said he wanted to follow this bullshit “vehicle” that’s run by people peddling that has a huge table in the middle for drinks.  I kept insisting I wanted to leave and he said “I don’t take orders from you”.  He said he wanted to park in the shade near my house and “talk”.  I wanted outta there!

Finally, we left the area, and then he suggested he just drop me off at a library and leave me there to go home ALONE.  Bullshit.  I told him no way.  I have books at home.  Finally, we ended up at a park and he calmed down and acted human for awhile and we had conversation.

After that, he wanted to eat out and so did I.  He said he “didn’t want to eat at fast food or any of the dives you like”.  HUH?  I choose them because it’s cheaper.  He said, “I want to get a beer with lunch”. OK, fine.  I’d get soda.  It was a nice place, well, a sports bar, but it had a/c and I wasn’t complaining.  We ordered lunch and then I noticed IT.  He was using the hand signals.  The perp hand language.  I’d seen him nose swiping before, but, that can actually be created in a non perp by making someone’s nose itch.  I looked on in horror, but said nothing.  I talked to him like nothing was happening.

I stupidly opened up about my rebellious adolescence and how I took risks.

He started talking about a serial killer which I thought odd and made me scared since he does not seem interested in that kind of stuff. (crime, etc.)  He said, “the (killer) liked girls like you…brown hair, eyes, etc…right about the time you were a teen rebel.  I was shocked.  I thought this killer liked the cheerleader type: blonde/blue/stacked since he was so good looking himself.  It felt like a threat.  I think this killer predated my teens and was no longer “out there” when I was rebelling. I looked up Bundy and he was arrested in 1978, long before I ran away.  He preferred women who looked like his rich ex-girlfriend who dumped him. I don’t think I was as pretty as his victims.  He also had other abominable habits which I won’t write here because you might be eating.

Then it was back “home” again.  He had said he’d give me some money for groceries before he came, but when I got up to leave the car, he hadn’t.  I decided to let it rest and not beg. I got out of the car and he called me back.  As he handed me the money he said, “you know, me handing you the money like this looks like we did something,” oh REALLY.  I told him to be more discreet if he gives me money in future.  He was really being a perp yesterday.

I have no one.

In front of the apt. today it’s like the circus has come to town:  people coming by spitting, stopping, walking up and down.  I feel like a naked animal in a glass cage in an intersection.

Watch this Movie

I found a place to watch “Network” from 1976 for free!  There are subtitles in Portuguese but you can still see the film pretty well.


The Network is sort of a 4th major Network sort of like Fox is today but it is in its death throes with ratings going into the toilet.  They must fire Peter Finch, the evening news guy because he’s supposedly dragging down the ratings.  When he’s told he is is to be fired, he goes nuts and his nuttiness (which is truly lucidity, since the only people who truly know reality are “nuts” and everyone else lives in a concocted fantasy to stay “sane” or is a sociopath) gets a ratings boost.  His rants start reviving the Network and he is not fired even though he had told the whole audience he would “kill himself on air next Tuesday”.

It’s a must see movie that foretells the future of what the world is today.  The main thing I got out of it is that in the future Finch says that people would not be totally human with human emotions. but, “humanoids”, products of the entertainment industry.  It has come to pass.  The rants of Peter Finch are great and sound like prophecy. The saddest part of the film is where Finch says “yes, Democracy won today, but that’s it, it’s over” after a merger with Saudi Arabia and the Network is foiled

Faye Dunaway plays Diana, the love interest who falls in love with Finch’s best friend, Max, played by William Holden.  He leaves his wife of 25 years to live with her only to find her a sociopathic unfeeling “humanoid”.  The best scene in the movie is the two breaking up where he tells her he has to leave because she is a life sucking force and that he is truly human and that he wishes to retain his humanity, even though he is old and “dying’ in this youth infested world.

There are also subplots about how Dunaway finds other subversive shows to grow the Network’s ratings.  One scene I find weird in a post 9/11 world is how Diana and Max are in bed laughing off the FBI’s attention to Diana’s shows, like they have all the freedom and the government is basically an annoyance.  How quaint.

There is also a subplot about all the corporate raiding going on behind the scenes.

I was only 10 or 11 when this film came out.  It could have been made today.  My favorite film of that era was “Jaws”.  Oh my. The most popular scene is the familiar one where Finch comes on his program, pushes another anchor off the show and says “he’s as mad as hell and he is not taking it anymore.” and gets the whole nation to scream out their windows.

Most people I know under 60 or so seem to be “humanoids” devoid of any deep emotion or loyalty.  People who have grown up since the Baby Boom era are products of media…they are “consumers”, “human resources”, get it? People are “product”.  The family is dead.  People are disposable, marriages are disposable, children are disposable.  The only thing that matters is survival.  Humanoid feral beings are now the norm.  The bus is a riding freakshow.

Perps are angrily muttering in the background.  They KNOW.  Oh they know.

There is something I want to say but I just can’t put my finger on it…you just know the show is true, though.  Remember your older relatives?  Your parents?  Your grandparents?  Remember how REAL they seemed?  I mean, I miss that.  Terribly.  There were always bad psychopathic shits around but there were REAL people around, too.  It balanced out.  It’s now the End Times.  What is accepted as “human” behavior is not normal.  It’s freakish.  Make sure not to miss the “money speech”.

I guess what I am trying to say is that evil is banal, and that is the era (1970s) when the widespread evil of the world became banal with television and violent movies-even before video games and the Internet.  It was the desensitization of the new “humanoid”.

The movies has lots of bad language and a few sex scenes, so if you are the “Focus on the Family” type you might not want to see it.

I’ll leave it to you to see the ending.  No spoiler.

Good Book

w/o Internet at home I have more time to read..and read.  Just finished a 400+ page book called Straight Into Darkness by Faye Kellerman.  It is about pre-Hitler Germany and how a troubled understaffed police department and a detective with at least a few morals left solve a case of mass murder in Munich or “lustmord” which is I think the definition of “love of death” or something.  It also examines the state of the art and entertainment around Germany at that time.  Munich was sort of a place of middle class “respectability” compared to Berlin…so they did not get the hootchie cootchie shows as much but they did have Kabarets, or nightclubs.  It also explores the world of 1920s German art which had themes of violence (the lustmord) as well.  The main character watches as Hitler rises, and his rallies and his (eventually disposable) Brownshirts become more and more violent and how the police have trouble controlling the riots from the rallies and how the police and populance become more and more sympathetic to the Nazi cause and how honest people like Axel Berg (the main character) are getting fewer and fewer.  Kellerman leaves you guessing to the end who the killer is and the ending is a big surprise.  It is a good read for a ti as perps have been compared to Brownshirts over and over again.  Another theme is…drum roll…FOOD.  German pub food sucks apparently, and if the Germans had a better cuisine they probably would not have had to have so many wars.  I bet Postwar Germany is full of Chinese, Mexican, Indian and American food.  Kellerman uses lots of German phrases to make the novel seem authentically German even though it is written in English.  I recognized a few German words due to my Grandmother using some Yiddish words even though she spoke English.  She also spoke Yiddish and my mother understood it.  I can only make out a few food words.  Apparently Jewish food is German food, essentially, sort of like Macrobiotic food is Japanese food, essentially…except for SAUSAGE.  The Jews ate Brisket and bird not sausage

Still no computer

Here I am at the lib. again!  I think I’m deliberately denied service by my ISP and the phone company.  I have called my ISP at least half a dozen times or more and have had contractors with the ISP and the phone company come to the house.  It’s always a different story why my DSL is off and so on.  I also heard laughing TWICE when I called my ISP to nag them again and again.  How very funny.  Once I was asked what the “meaning” of my email handle was.  I did not tell them.  This laughing is new, however.  Someone, somewhere wants me cut off from the world and shut up.  c. said to call up the phone co to “beg” for my line back.  hahahaha.   I pay those f*ck*rs 1000 a year to keep my phone on!  They ain’t food stamps! They are a for profit phone company based thousands of miles from us, not a government agency.  I’m not begging. I’m not a dog.

Still no computer

Over a month. They are definitely keeping me offline at home. I tried to respond to a blog post but something happened. I’m at a wifi spot. The last time I had a birthday party was at age 10, and then had cake and ice cream at age 20 at a mental health halfway house. Parents would take me out to dinner, that’s it. Even college graduation was muted. I thought I would finally get the party I was missing. We went out for COFFEE after the ceremony. Remember, I missed HS graduation and my Bat Mitzvah. I was waiting for the PARTY. My “friend” and I went out for each other’s birthdays but she would want the most expensive food and try to undercut my birthday dinner to a cheap place.

No one hears my voice except perps as I respond in anger and I shouldn’t but they did me one worse when I ignored them about 2010.

I know I’m not crazy but was labeled as such to shut me up and to eventually kill me.

Old Posts Put on Paper…w/o Internet for one month!

My DSL went down on May 12.  I watched it go down after acting strangely for awhile that morning.  I think someone wants me offline…permanently.  Here are some posts I wrote the old fashioned way this past month. I feel the need to get them out there.


What a coward I am!  I have nothing in my life and am too scared to kill myself!  God? told me last Fall “I never will” send you Assurance.  I am out of a computer AGAIN after only 8 months.  The perps fried my old computer when I was out shopping one day.  I have also lost my old phone (it was old though), 2 computer mice, 1 USB keyboard hookup, a coffeemaker, hairdryer, vacuum, and hair straightener.  My “friendship” with Her Highness is finally over as well.  c, who seemed so supportive is less so, now.  jj is a total perp.  ml just threatened me.  sb is still here!  I have nothing to live for.  I can’t even sit outside to hear a bird sing–I get voice to skull and constant perp traffic.  The “neighbors” are also having parties all the time.  7 houses around me host parties–and they talk about me!  Once there was a party on July 4 and there was a party at what I think is a sorority house but not sure–and they chanted “GET OUT” over and over for an hour when I came back–alone–from the park.  The “neighbors” watch me like I’m a criminal.  Cops are driving by all the time!  I am too scared to go on a walk alone–I’m being threatened all the time!  Going anywhere alone is usually a perp free-for-all.  God has turned His back.  I can’t even watch those “soothing” videos on the computer as they are supposedly satanic.  I need something fast.  Everything is being destroyed.  The perp puppets and their satanic masonic druidic overlords want me dead by 50.  I bet a “certain person” wants me dead.  I have no idea where Her Highness got the idea for her accusations!  I bet ml told her that!  Nobody around here seems to work–people are always hanging around all day–where does the money come from?  All these “homeless by choice” lazy ass perp bloodsuckers here for the weed.  All paid by the perps to harass.  I once overheard one of them say they got 50 bucks a day.  Not bad for homeless and very few bills.  Always walking around in groups and all happy dappy.  You don’t see a sad looking homeless person anymore.  They are all owned by the perps.  They come by all day and screw around by the dumpster, pee behind it, etc…sit on the stoop…My sister is owned by the perps, jj is Super Perp, a is a perp, m and his nasty anorexic girlfriend are owned by the perps.  I have never met a real Christian.  All fake, all run away at a hint of trouble. Her Highness is a perp…I’ve even seen c do the “nose swipe”.  No one left but the cat and she can’t talk!  All I hear is harassment and V2k all day.


I get it now!  I see it all now!  I was NOT seeing things that night I was walking back 2 miles to the train from visiting Her Highness in the looney bin!  It was a very familiar looking couple driving in an SUV TOWARDS the hospital back in 2013.  Later on, v. called to have “dinner” with Her Highness in a strange “no strings attached” way in the Fall of 2013.  Her Highness started to accuse me of unspeakable things then and did not talk with me until the next Feb. after my father died.  She “got back” with me for only a few months in 2014 then switched AGAIN this time even calling the POLICE on me using that same false accusation!  I’m surprised they showed up.  She must have sounded like a crank.  I thought both these times she had “merely” gone nuts, off her meds, etc…She kept hopping from Mental Health Center to Mental Health Center making everyone angry, neglecting her grooming, throwing fits in fast food drive thru’s, having scenes in the store, abusing alcohol, etc…I really thought she had a tumor or was getting senile or something.  It was all an act.  She was being as obnoxious to me as possible to me because she has been recruited as a perp!  Some little birdie got wind that her mother was sick and she was coming into money.  They have asked her to be a part of the “club”.  Before they were just pretending to accept her!  They will probably milk every cent out of her.  I thought she was getting Alz. or Schizophrenia or was “using” drugs like meth or even sertraline which makes bipolars “high”.  It was all an act.  I pretended NOT TO NOTICE as she did the “nose swipes” and “handsie” sign language as we drove up the street.  It started about 2012.  I think she was recruited before that, but only on a low level basis.  They have plaaans for her.  I remember her telling me that this perp ass POS told her that he “liked” her now but before he didn’t.  He’s dead, now.  Too many psych drugs led him to die a generation before his time.  The devil has a grrrreat retirement plan!  She is still hanging with this mysterious j who I have never met.  j is poor.  Very poor.  Living at home with the ‘rents poor.  Probably no bene’s.  Maybe j is “showing her the ropes”.  Her Highness started all her lying accusing crap again this past Fall on me after another mysterious “dinner” with  v–who is a total perp.  They got Her Highness good.  I need to be “out of the way” now that they are gonna turn Her Highness into a REAL devil.  They want me to die.  I hear V2k saying “take them all” or “do it” when I go to take my pills.  Now I’m sick, w/o a computer, gonna lose my cat, just had my hair straightener break, etc…  I’m broke, no money to even catch a BUS to the library!…and we all know how well that turns out for ti’s  Even took 2 days off my corset because I am sick.  Stomach sticking out like I’m pregnant.

Now I know why my life hit the “skids” last Aug…it didn’t have far to go as I’m a ti since 1987.  The perple people knew that Her Highnesses’ mother was sick, and were starting to make me look verrrry bad to Her Highness.  Stuff breaking all the time..forgot the washing machine.  Her Highnesses mother has been ill longer than I knew!  HH had to get into contact with her via a people search site!  Mother was no longer talking to her.  I remember last year about this time injuring my foot and also feeling tired enough to drop.  I really thought I was dying–HH probably saw me as too lazy to help her.  The girl don’t even pick up a Kleenex!  This year I injured my leg, burnt myself, and keep “bumping into things” all the time.  I’m such a “klutz” now.  They are trying to off me before my 50th birthday.  The perps are FINISHED with me and want to bury the evidence.  I loathe their control, loath psych drugs–I’m even mad at God again!  A born rebel.  I loathe the tricks and skits and can even see some of them coming now!  Guess I’m to be fertilizer soon.  They are going at it so much I forget I’m a human being at times.


My DSL is still off!!!  It seems that the ISP wants to keep it off, or, were ordered to.  Almost one month.  Silenced and out of touch with the world.  HH still won’t call me.  Here I sit, and, God, or the wind, which is supposed to be the Holy Spirit but seems to be some kind of new tech since 2012, “told” me not to work puzzles or to even read a book beyond a HALF HOUR.  Wind gusts on demand?  Maybe the elite already “own” the weather.  I think I blasphemed the Holy Spirit today.  Life is hell.  c took me around Fri to the doctor’s and to get prescriptions, but, he was acting funny,  Probably a perp, too.  He tells me about the James Holmes trial and says “don’t be a James Holmes”.  I don’t even have a gun and can’t get one because of my “mental health” record.  Or, after shopping, “Are you gonna eat all that food?”  One thing I CANNOT STAND is being judged by what I buy at the store.  It’s like I’m a SLAVE.  I can’t decide what to wear, where to go, or what to eat.  My cat hates being inside all the time;  My neighbor has done nothing to find her a new home I know about.  c says put her in a SHELTER.  Yeah, right.  She’ll get sick again.  c. says “why don’t I move”???  MOVE???  How?  With what money?  Is he willing to help?

NONONO.  He could not find anything out about j…suuure.  I think I found her FB page just doing a general search (trivia:  does anyone remember when an FB was not Facebook?  What was it?  I saw it during the 1980s.).  I bet j’s around to mooch off HH and keep her away from me.  j won’t get that much as the dough is in trust.  Just enough I guess.  A hundred here, a couple hundred there.  HH will tire of her.  j parents are RICH, maybe HH thinks she can “catch” some respectability off them when they even treat their ne-er do well daughter badly!  It looks like rain.  Sirens, wailing.  Some perp ass breaking glass in the alley, thunder, the radio playing instead of my computer playing MY songs.  Some perp bitch came by my window and said, “how’s that working out for you?”  She said something else nasty when she went the other way down the street to the “festival” they have every WEEK.  Typical spoiled skinny chidult that “live” all over here now.  Gentrification.  Ugh.

Still too scared to post my post on Myron May that I wrote last Dec.  One lil teaser:  he was on a weird dangerous combination of psych drugs.

Self-defense is now ILLEGAL in the UK

No weapons allowed on public transportation here in the US nor in buildings. Part of my perping includes threats of harm. I have been stopped by police for nothing back in 2010 just taking a walk. What would have happened if I had had a knife?


Source:Natural News
Date: June 5, 2015
Author: J. D. Heyes

(NaturalNews) The United Kingdom has been moving politically to the Left for some time now, but even in our wildest dreams, never could we have imagined that it would become illegal to protect yourself there.

As reported by The New American, British subjects seeking advice about what are and are not permissible self-defense instruments found some recently on a police web site. It is sponsored by the British government’s Police National Legal Database.

Q589: Are there any legal self defence products that I can buy?

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