Disagree!

I suppose I will never be popular as I will say what I think and believe no matter if people are angry or not.  I will disagree if I think it’s wrong, except, perhaps to a cop.  Gangstalking grows because people are too afraid to disagree with authorities or neighbors or relatives about the target being crazy, or a threat of some sort.  It’s better for the average idiot to go along to get along.  People got angry with me for sticking up for my friend when they all hated her and talked about her.

People get angry with me for believing in God because it’s nonsense and foolish to them.  I lost all contact with my family because I believed Jesus was God and they didn’t.

Because I won’t go along to get along whomever runs this sad circus show called  “our country” decided to target and torment me for the rest of my life.  I’m not against rules if they are fair.  A country needs laws, too.  But I will not be a conformist cookie cutter cutout.

Back in the 1980s it was very popular to be conservative.  I was liberal.  Now it’s totally flip flopped and if you aren’t politically correct about everything and accept everyone and everything (except ti’s of course!) you are an outcast and a bigot and nuts.  I’m not a right “wingnut” but take each issue and decide how I feel about it.  I’m not a kneejerk liberal or conservative.  Both parties are essentially the same anyway.

When I was younger I tried to go along to get along and failed.  I’m just different.  I’m not crazy.

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More Perp Threats

I was going to rewrite some old blogs of mine from 2009/2010 but got threatened by a perp “neighbor” that I would not be able to leave my apartment if I posted these posts.  I was going to post yet another post on what has REALLY been going on this year but got a threat from “God” probably a perp, that “he” would “leave me” if I posted it.  I got threatened that “God” would “leave me” if I read my library books, colored in the adult coloring books I had, etc…etc…etc…I’m in a box, a coffin.  The “authoritative” male voice probably isn’t God, and the neighbor probably couldn’t force me to stay in here, but, they get you with their satanic fear every time.  I feel motivated to do nothing.  God, or His perp counterpart told me if I “touched my lips” to wine to relax I would be “unsaved”.  I’m not even Saved anyway.  The Holy Spirit never came inside me.

Panic is, by the way, knowing you are fucked and that there is nothing you can do about it, that if will never end and even God does not hear you anymore.  It’s a slow creeping quiet desperation.

 

Green Eyed in my Sister’s Closet

It’s been a long time since I posted a daily prompt.  Hmmmm.  Stylish.https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/stylish/

What is style today?  Getting away with showing as much skin as possible without getting arrested or fired?  There seems to be no overwhelming trends like back in the 1980s when “preppie” was in or the 1990s “grunge” was in.  Today’s clothes look like disco on steroids.  Of course, there’s the gentrified skinny uniform of yoga pants and a racerback top.

I would make flaccid attempts to be “in style” when I was younger.  I owned an “alligator” shirt, a “polo” shirt and a “guess?” jacket along with button-up Levi’s.  I tried to like sweaters but they didn’t like me.  I washed my wool Fair Isle sweater and it came out as a child’s sweater.  Now that’s a craft called felting, where you shrink wool to make things.

I would spend an hour each day frying my hair with a curling iron to get it as big as possible.  I bleached it until it was straw.

I was never into real style like suits and dresses and European shoes.  Nylons strangled me and ran the first 5 minutes.  After about age 20 or so I just gave up and wore jeans and t-shirts every day without bothering with earrings, bracelets, or makeup.  With my thighs, I could not wear a skirt above the knee.  I stopped wearing shorts or going swimming after my weight reached a certain level.  I loved the return of bell bottoms about 10 years ago and wore them.

Today, with the body positivity movement, overweight people aren’t afraid of style.  It’s OK to look good at a plus size.  Back in the day, if you weighed more than 130 you were plus sized.  I love all the cute not-so-modest clothes my younger plus sized counterparts wear without fear.

The real style, however, was my sister.  She was tiny in high school and wore sizes I never even heard of like 0’s and 1’s.  She was usually casual, but, she went to proms and formals and had evening dresses.  My mother would buy them on sale at a local boutique.  After she left for college, I’d go into her room just to look at the formal dresses she left behind.  It was 80s bling glamour.  I was so jealous but dreamed about getting to wear a formal and attend a ball.

I wore a formal only once:  at her wedding.  I kept the dress until it faded.

I found my missing “guess?” sweatshirt in her room.  Everything was oversized in casual wear for awhile.

I think fashion and style, especially today, are a way of communication if you desire.  The combination of style, color, accessories and hair style along with makeup style speak volumes about you without saying a word.

You can create emotions such as joy, anger, fear, hate, etc…with clothes.  Sometimes only a pair of earrings or a scarf changes your whole look.  In the end, however, it’s what inside that counts.

Hitler Sandals

Recently I went to a major retailer and decided to buy some sandals on clearance.  I saw them before and thought they cost too much.  Now they were 6 bucks as fall is coming.  They looked sooo cute!  Flip flops in an intricate crochet design.  When I got them “home”, I took off the tags and in the middle of each sandal was a crocheted “8”.  The two make “88” or HH or Heil Hitler.  I thought about trashing them.  If they had little swastikas I would have.

Then, I needed a new coffee mug.  There were some very cute ones that had various designs even some in beaten copper and silver design.  I was all for getting one until I saw the logo of the company:  3 hexagrams.  666.  They are putting it in our faces.

I also hate all the clothing and accessories with skulls on them making death seem cool.  Also, even decent seeming clothing is transparent or is cut way too low.  Then there are the pre-destroyed jeans at huge prices….LOLOLOLOL  Suckas.  Jeans make their own holes as they wear out.

Should I trash my “Hitler” sandals?

 

 

 

 

Finally Read Wintergirls

I Finally found it on the shelf.  I loved the deep sarcasm that “Lia” the protagonist feels towards, life, everything.  Her dualistic life is so much like that of a ti trying to appear normal in the world but screaming on the inside.   The main deal is that Lia’s estranged friend, Cassie, tries to call her 30 times on the night she dies at a cheap motel while drinking, binging and purging.  Lia never picks up and the friend ends up dead.  Lia starts getting “haunted” by her friend and her anorexia gets worse.  She also has to deal with living with her step family and her poor relationship with her eccentric mother.

The ghostly visions of her dead friend are manifestations of her guilt and advancing disease.  There is also an interesting side plot of Lia’s friendship with the hotel’s caretaker.

I think Anderson should have gone more into the backstory of how both girls got eating disorders but it seems to focus on New Year’s Eve during 8th grade when left alone at a ski resort while their parents went to a party.

The way Anderson writes the book is fascinating.  All of Lia’s real thoughts and feelings are crossed out.  That style of writing make a great blog post. Maybe a Post a Day.  Please write as you ordinarily would then put in what you real feel but put a line through it.  It’s been done before I’m sure.  I’ve done it before, but not like Anderson.

This author has written many other books.  They are Young Adult so I probably won’t read the others, but she has a book about a teen with a war vet father that looks interesting.

 

 

Back, sort of

I just got the courage to reopen my blog after tons of perp threats a year ago.   I did not get “left alone” after I hid the blog and life even became more miserable.  I have an unfinished blog from way back in 2014 I need to finish.

Someone managed to comment on this blog when it was hidden.  Yes, I do read only King James Version and have studied the Bible and/or sermons daily for years.  I was even doing this journaling thing I picked up on a Bible website.

At first, learning I was ti drew me closer to God, but as time went on I wore out and started to backslide as things got worse.  I tried to get better in 2011 and have never backslidden the way I did before that, but it’s hard.

Losing Neverending1’s blog hurt me a lot.  I also went through two lengthy periods where my DSL was cut off.  I have been a coward by not posting but fear entered my heart last Fall and it just seemed easier to not blog.

Except for the same ol, not much has changed except I have no teeth now and wear dentures.  Another ti put the fear of God in me about dentists and I let my teeth go down until they could not be saved.  Money was also a consideration.  Two houses near me are now empty:  one for rent and one for sale.  No doubt perps will live there.  Due to a Supreme Court ruling, homeless people live all over the sidewalk/alleys in my neighborhood.  Sometimes I am scared to take out the trash as a homeless woman camps there and she does not like me. (nose swipe, nose swipe, she is a perp)

The place I stayed when I was homeless burned down.  It was arson.  People are trying to stick it on me.  Whoever did this needs to be brought to justice.  I have a feeling that whoever did this wanted it blamed on me so I would disappear.  2016 has actually been a hell of a year if I got into detail.

I think the prez election is a joke and whoever wins will not help ti’s.  I’ve heard on You Tube that some ti’s are getting left alone, but not me because I’m “type 4”.

My on again off again “friend” betrayed me again.  Nothing new.  I’d like to shout out to MW that I’m not such a chicken after all if you ever find this.