I do wonder sometimes: as I go thru life merely existing in a punishment mode the perps created for me, and watch life go on all around me, and know I cannot participate, and realize there is no one to complain to; I wonder if I have died, am dead, extinct, expired, etc…
Right after or right before this SHIT started I took a plane ride. Did the plane really land? Did it crash and I forgot I’m dead? One of the few friends I had in this world had committed suicide when I was gone. THIS greeted me when I got back. I didn’t notice the surveillance/rude treatment until a few months later, but, looking back, I can see its early manifestations starting the year before–1986. Is THIS a special punishment mode for hell-bound souls who are not “bad enough” for the fire/brimstone/demon routine? This was years before I was “saved”. Was I really saved? Was my Salvation a delusion from the demons assigned to me to create a plausible “world” for me to “live” in whilst they punish my soul at leisure?
Right after it started, the few people who cared about me in this world started dying one by one leaving me no one to count on. Did the people who *seemed* to care, really care? Was that a delusion? Did I die even younger, perhaps at sixteen, hitching around the country?
Slowly but surely the few places/situations where I would receive any human warmth/emotion/sympathy/empathy dwindled and died. Everywhere, it was replaced by coldness and “perping”. Even in church! Jesus said that “hearts would grow cold” in Matthew 24. It’s happening.
With the advent of cell phones, even my illusion of privacy died. Everybody around me would whip out their cell phone if I showed up. Soon everyone would taunt me with some phrase my perp supervisor at work directed at me–whispered of course as I went by. It seemed the whole city had been replaced by cyborgs or demons. It seemed as if my life was a lie, a delusion, a mere show put on for me for my everlasting punishment. To get any peace at all, I found I had to isolate myself, further disconnecting myself from the society that seemed determined to disown me.
With the discovery that I was a ti, with all the stalking/harassment/mental death/mind control/regression/infantalization processes along with it, my whole life fell in. After a brief interlude of hope that it was now “ending”, I had a nervous breakdown without having a nervous breakdown. I KNEW I could not show up at a hospital or therapist’s office (or the police!) with my story as I already knew what would happen from hard experience in other situations: out would come the schizo pills.
So I hid my anguish the best I could, but, it came out anyway. The last scraps of human interaction I had were destroyed. I had the surety I needed to know that no one was to be trusted, and, when I did open up, I paid the price. I isolated more. I cried a lot. I returned to my adolescent fantasy world. I reached out to other targets on the Web to find most of them seemed to be informants for the enemy and/or unwilling to interact with me because they said their targeting “increased” when they interacted with me even online. What, their targeting did not increase when they interacted with other targets? Why just me? I was at the center of a nightmare, alone. All my online “friends” were feeding to the enemy everything I said to them in emails, messaging, and list servs.
It seems like life is a big reality show and everyone plays their “part”. People act out “work”, “play”, “church”, “family time”, “vacations”, “birth”, “death”, “marriage”…all just a play. It’s done by rote, without feeling. It’s done automatically because if the parts aren’t played, and the lines not uttered, you are in “violation” and will be “punished”. I don’t want to lend any validation to those debunkers who say ti’s have “Truman Show Syndrome” which is one of the newest “syndromes” to brush ti’s off into psychiatry where of course we can be readily and conveniently treated with the latest “no side effects” neuroleptic brain death pills supplied by the hydra-headed Big Pharm to keep all “citizens” dumbed down to the level of controllable human pet. This is no Truman Show. This is reality for thousands if not millions of innocent “citizens” who suffer in silence for years and decades on end with the only outlet being these blogs, You Tube Channels, and conference calls. The blogs and videos are seen mainly only by other targets, perps, and other apparatuses of the Modern Nightmare.
I still wonder though…how can it be real? How can there be no comfort? Even PRAYING is scant comfort, as my mind is read, and prayers (they say) are answered by PERPS. The Word of God becomes void when the Word says only God knows your heart when the perps mindread 24/7/365 and even script your dreams. God must go even deeper than what the satanic technology reads with machines in order to maintain His Sovereignty since God is not the top authority if trash like perps can see into your deepest soul. Where is God’s comfort? Where is my fellowship with God if satanists read my mind? I’ve even tried to obtain a “prayer language” or “tongues” to talk to God so the perps would not know what I was talking about.
Where is the fellowship with other Christians? The few “Christians” I’ve met since the very beginning honeymoon phase back in the 1990s are shills for the enemy using their “life story” and “faith” to draw me out and even set me up for more pain. Is this how it’s supposed to be? It can’t be. Even in Paul’s depth of hardship and privations he had fellowship with God. His Roman handlers could not read his mind. He didn’t have armies of paid stalkers shadowing his movements and putting on skits for his misery. Even Jesus’ suffering came to an end. Were those hours like an eternity?
I have felt the loss of fellowship with God and the inability to REALLY pray or enjoy the Bible for YEARS. I must be in Hell. No one bothered to tell me. I’m actually dead, that’s all.
I took lots of risks when young, maybe one of them didn’t work out. Maybe the perception I was “blessed” and “protected” by God was a delusion. Maybe I angered God when young and never even had the chance to be “saved”. I wasn’t a very nice person, but neither was anyone else that nice to me. Even as a child, I felt people were not acting in my best interest and my parents’ advice was poor and just designed to demoralize me. It was no help at all.
I go out and everyone is in on it. Cars go by with staring sneering perps. Other perps walk by with dirty looks. Some with insults. Some with threats. Sometimes under their breath but now (2017) right out loud. Some perps have their faces twisted into satanic glee with a sort of sheen or glow on them. Store clerks are rude. I see cops all the time. People will go out of their way to try and engage me in “conversations” that are merely info gathering. It’s just another way to add to the profile they have on me to attack me better. They try to get me to relax, feel comfortable around them, and feel I’ve found a “friend”. I have fallen for this crap too many times. I took one of those people into my home because he was homeless years ago. What a mistake.
How long will the charade last before I’m dropped into the fire along with my perps and all other sinners? I feel separated from God, STILL. The world is dead, cold and fake. I’m smelling fraud. I used to sit in one of the religious services I could still go to and see evil clinging to every smirking face in the room. God would never let the world go so far into evil that it seemed a suburb of Hell, or would He? He allowed the Holocaust, the murders of Stalin’s regime, the murders of Mao Tse Tung’s regime and others even before I was born.
Most of their victims were Atheists who did not believe in the Afterlife, but not all. The Jews still have an unclear vision of the Afterlife and they did then, too. Is all this bloody “history” I’ve learned fake as well? People talk about reality shifting. Is being a ti living in a parallel reality while others enjoy life?
Are all the historic wars, slaughters, diseases and storms all just a construct of demonic handlers? Is there a kinder, gentler alternate reality? Life is sure cheap in this one. How could God choose HUMANS as His Chosen? Are other sentinents even worse? Are they only the demons? Are there really Aliens out there?
The only answer I have is the End is here, and hearts have truly gone cold. Real human emotion is very rare and usually extinct in a ti’s everyday life. A ti can become cold him or herself: regressed, infantalized, dulled to evil–eventually a suicide, an early death, or a perp recruit. Any ti who resists the dehumanizing gets punished more or taken out. The future of a psychocivilized, infantalized, stupid race of human pets is upon us. People will be medicated numbed and controlled from cradle to grave. Let’s get real. It’s happening now.
Learning and scholarship will die except if the learning has to do with even more technologies to further animalize humans and to create a tiny “master race” to control the human slaves. School is a place of indoctrination, a place to learn to conform and to “get along”. Learning, even at the college level, is truly minimal. Your whole life now is controlled and planned by the handlers before you are born.
People follow fashion, music, movies, and reality TV shows for their “religion”. Evangelical religion and any other Fundamental religion is only used as a babysitting service to control those whose lives went haywire with “substance abuse” or crime. Those who refuse to imbibe substances or get an STD and get into the prison/12-step/ever-recovering oh I’m sooo spiriTOOL pseudo religious path will be given Eating Disorders via Voice to Skull to take up their precious time and money. Others will spend so much time at “work” that they do not live at all. Others spend hours online or in front of the TV, the main brainwashing tool in the controller’s arsenal. A FEW people will be allowed to pursue what seems to be REAL careers in business or the “arts”. Even THEY will obey and if they rebel, they will be promptly targeted.
The evangelical religions will be run by high level handlers of the controllers. Any “convert” who thinks for themselves will be “put out” of church or ostracized so much going to church is useless. The Pious Web toodlers who spew Scripture verses by the dozen to refute a comment and impress and silence others from commenting on religious matters will be satan’s chief ones. As said before, the Religion of the Twelve Steps will be provided for those who resist compulsive TV watching or controlled organized religion. Otherwise, the out of control, non-psychocivilized, non pet humans who have gone wild on “substances” or even THOUGHT are put in jails, halfway houses, mental institutions or simply targeted.
Who knows when the Earth ceased to be a place for humans to be born, grow, thrive, and develop their relationship with God? Was it after WWII? Was it over 200 years ago when the Illuminati merged with the Freemasons? Was it back in ancient Egypt?
When did the SNITCH become a respectable person? Remember when snitches were laughed off or even “got stitches”? Secrets and lies replace human relationships. The controllers would set their throne above God’s. Of course they will lose…in the bye and bye.
The 21st Century has become Hell on Earth.