I suppose I will never be popular as I will say what I think and believe no matter if people are angry or not.  I will disagree if I think it’s wrong, except, perhaps to a cop.  Gangstalking grows because people are too afraid to disagree with authorities or neighbors or relatives about the target being crazy, or a threat of some sort.  It’s better for the average idiot to go along to get along.  People got angry with me for sticking up for my friend when they all hated her and talked about her.

People get angry with me for believing in God because it’s nonsense and foolish to them.  I lost all contact with my family because I believed Jesus was God and they didn’t.

Because I won’t go along to get along whomever runs this sad circus show called  “our country” decided to target and torment me for the rest of my life.  I’m not against rules if they are fair.  A country needs laws, too.  But I will not be a conformist cookie cutter cutout.

Back in the 1980s it was very popular to be conservative.  I was liberal.  Now it’s totally flip flopped and if you aren’t politically correct about everything and accept everyone and everything (except ti’s of course!) you are an outcast and a bigot and nuts.  I’m not a right “wingnut” but take each issue and decide how I feel about it.  I’m not a kneejerk liberal or conservative.  Both parties are essentially the same anyway.

When I was younger I tried to go along to get along and failed.  I’m just different.  I’m not crazy.


Green Eyed in my Sister’s Closet

It’s been a long time since I posted a daily prompt.  Hmmmm.  Stylish.https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/stylish/

What is style today?  Getting away with showing as much skin as possible without getting arrested or fired?  There seems to be no overwhelming trends like back in the 1980s when “preppie” was in or the 1990s “grunge” was in.  Today’s clothes look like disco on steroids.  Of course, there’s the gentrified skinny uniform of yoga pants and a racerback top.

I would make flaccid attempts to be “in style” when I was younger.  I owned an “alligator” shirt, a “polo” shirt and a “guess?” jacket along with button-up Levi’s.  I tried to like sweaters but they didn’t like me.  I washed my wool Fair Isle sweater and it came out as a child’s sweater.  Now that’s a craft called felting, where you shrink wool to make things.

I would spend an hour each day frying my hair with a curling iron to get it as big as possible.  I bleached it until it was straw.

I was never into real style like suits and dresses and European shoes.  Nylons strangled me and ran the first 5 minutes.  After about age 20 or so I just gave up and wore jeans and t-shirts every day without bothering with earrings, bracelets, or makeup.  With my thighs, I could not wear a skirt above the knee.  I stopped wearing shorts or going swimming after my weight reached a certain level.  I loved the return of bell bottoms about 10 years ago and wore them.

Today, with the body positivity movement, overweight people aren’t afraid of style.  It’s OK to look good at a plus size.  Back in the day, if you weighed more than 130 you were plus sized.  I love all the cute not-so-modest clothes my younger plus sized counterparts wear without fear.

The real style, however, was my sister.  She was tiny in high school and wore sizes I never even heard of like 0’s and 1’s.  She was usually casual, but, she went to proms and formals and had evening dresses.  My mother would buy them on sale at a local boutique.  After she left for college, I’d go into her room just to look at the formal dresses she left behind.  It was 80s bling glamour.  I was so jealous but dreamed about getting to wear a formal and attend a ball.

I wore a formal only once:  at her wedding.  I kept the dress until it faded.

I found my missing “guess?” sweatshirt in her room.  Everything was oversized in casual wear for awhile.

I think fashion and style, especially today, are a way of communication if you desire.  The combination of style, color, accessories and hair style along with makeup style speak volumes about you without saying a word.

You can create emotions such as joy, anger, fear, hate, etc…with clothes.  Sometimes only a pair of earrings or a scarf changes your whole look.  In the end, however, it’s what inside that counts.

Three Wishes???

Today is your lucky day. You get three wishes, granted to you by The Daily Post. What are your three wishes and why?

Too bad God does not grant “wishes” like a genie in a bottle.  The word “genie” comes from djinn, or demon.  But if the Lord granted “wishes” I already know what I “want”.

This may not be what God “wants” for me.

  1. The perps out of my life
  2. Good friends.
  3. Lots of weight gone.
  4. I know there is not a “4” but a way to support myself.

P.S.  Cars have been going by and gunning their motors all day.  I guess another “new” thing to add to my gs.  Before, they were creeping by and looking in the window.


One Special Reader


If you could have a guarantee that one, specific person was reading your blog, who would you want that person to be? Why? What do you want to say to them?

I’d want the one person who could help me get out of being gangstalked to see this blog and see it’s true and then help me. I’ve had enough.

If there is no such person I’d like to see the person who got me stalked in the first place read this blog and realize he has paid me back in full for whatever I did to him, whatever it was. I fear he would only want more to be done. I do not think he forgives.

So, then I’ll go with the first one. Who is the hero that would get me out of my hell? Could this hero free other ti’s as well? It would have to be a man or woman without fear because perps operate on fear.

Ripped From the Headlines

Indonesia’s Mount Sinabung Erupts, Leaving Damaged Towns Behind

A volcano, long dormant, has erupted again. The headline is above. Big volcanoes can cause cold weather because they spew stuff into the atmosphere. This big one has not erupted since the 1600s when there was a “little ice age” over Europe. So much for global warming.

Last year, the trees waited until the middle of May to start leafing.

Take that Al Gore.

My style Roflmao

Describe your personal style, however you’d like to interpret that — your clothing style, your communication style, your hair style, your eating style, anything.

Clothing style: jeans in various states of ragginess, long and short sleeve t shirts, boots…look like a bum.  Wear hoodies under coats in winter.  I have a few skirts if anyone wants to do another “experiment” in modesty again with me.

I talk like trash but without all the bad words.  I sound more trashy than I write.  It pissed off my stuck up mother to no end.

My hair is a mess since I’m afraid to get it cut at the salon where the stylists seem to look more satanic all the time.  I have grown it to shoulder length and trim it myself.  I don’t think it grows much more than that.

I eat like it’s feeding time at the zoo.  I try to be more polite at restaurants.

I like to wear makeup sometimes, sometimes not.  I love nail polish but let myself pretty much run out during these last few years.  I need more.

My style in music was heavy metal, progressive metal and some hard rock and progressive rock.

Now it’s gospel.  I was yelled at by a minister that I needed to get the rock out of my life or I would not get better.  So I did.  Am I better?  Not much, just more drugged.

Crazy Angry

Tell us about a time when you flew into a rage. What is it that made you so incredibly angry?

About 20 years ago, when I was a new Christian, a woman PRETENDED to receive the Holy Ghost in front of my then pastor then later proceeded to tell me about it. I think I asked her why and she said she wanted to impress him. Later the real “her” came out and he and his wife were not impressed.

After I left her that day I went ape shit crazy angry. I would have burned her at the stake. I was hollering and screaming like an er, demon. I was a baby new Christian and never heard of anything like that. Now I know people sometimes play at things that are too serious for others to consider faking it.  I did not grow up Christian and had no idea played at religion.  As a Jew, you were either religious or not, your choice….people usually didn’t act.

Now I might have told her that was a dangerous thing to do and repent and then might have had a laugh later at her presumption.

P.S.  Just run across the Prompts for ALL of 2014.  I would post every day but sometimes the Prompt is TMI.  Could I just post TMI or a little poem in it’s place?

Had a hard time coming up with something

Textures are everywhere: The rough edges of a stone wall. The smooth innocence of a baby’s cheek. The sense of touch brings back memories for us.

The hard cold feel of the fake leather upholstery of my first two old cars on a winter morning with torn pieces sticking out and pieces of fluff escaping.  It was really uncomfortable before the car heated up but not as uncomfortable as getting on a bus full of leering perps.

One Cold November Day

no senseShare the story of a time you felt unsafe.

A few years ago I was obessed to walking the entire length of an urban walking trail a few miles at a time. I found a fondness for the north end of the trail as it had fewer people and more wildlife.

It was a mild November day, about 55, but a front was coming in. I was not dressed properly. It was sufficient for 55 but not 25.

In November, the days are short and I got to the end of the trail when it was getting dark. There was some kind of city open space area with outdoor toilets there and I had to go.

Too bad there was a creepy evil-looking man that sat in the parking lot. The thought, “killer”, came to my mind when I saw him. I went into the toilet with fear thinking he would come in or wait for me outside in the dark and the cold as the wind was blowing and the front was coming in.

I left the toilet and the man was still sitting in his car.  I walked away.  First hurdle passed.  Now, I had to worry about the weather.  55 and sunny had been replace by 25 and snowy and there was no bus route this far out of town.

I started walking.  I found bus stops later but did not know if the buses that served them had stopped running or not.  The one stop I knew I could get a bus at night was about 4 miles away.  I walked on.  I got coffee at a fast food place a couple of miles down and continued my walk.  It was very dark with snow flurries and the road went up and down hill.  I felt very alone.

Finally I hit the part of the road where you run into the bar and the grocery store.  At Denny’s, you are finally there, at the stop where buses run at night.  A bus came, but it was not a bus home.  It only took me a little closer to home and then I would have to transfer to another bus to go home.

When I got there I realized only one more bus was coming and it was 40 minutes away.  I danced around in the cold and the bus finally came.  It was 9:30 pm.  I could have been stuck out all night in the cold.

I did a lot of idiotic things on my walks during those years.  I got caught in violent thunderstorms, harassed by men, missed another bus and DID spend the night outside, got soaked with rain and ended up sick…the list goes on.  The walks made me get into some kind of shape though and I miss that.  As ti’s we have to be strong and not weak.

The Ultimate Reject


Tell us about a time when you felt out of place.

My whole life. Was this a rhetorical question for ti’s?

I could go over various instances where I felt totally out of place such as in a gay bar, or an ultra Orthodox synagogue, but, for the most part the sense of outside-ness and not belonging has been with me my whole life. Every time I ever felt I belonged even a little the rug was snatched from under me.