I was going to rewrite some old blogs of mine from 2009/2010 but got threatened by a perp “neighbor” that I would not be able to leave my apartment if I posted these posts. I was going to post yet another post on what has REALLY been going on this year but got a threat from “God” probably a perp, that “he” would “leave me” if I posted it. I got threatened that “God” would “leave me” if I read my library books, colored in the adult coloring books I had, etc…etc…etc…I’m in a box, a coffin. The “authoritative” male voice probably isn’t God, and the neighbor probably couldn’t force me to stay in here, but, they get you with their satanic fear every time. I feel motivated to do nothing. God, or His perp counterpart told me if I “touched my lips” to wine to relax I would be “unsaved”. I’m not even Saved anyway. The Holy Spirit never came inside me.
Panic is, by the way, knowing you are fucked and that there is nothing you can do about it, that if will never end and even God does not hear you anymore. It’s a slow creeping quiet desperation.