I started my new blog a year ago today. I wish I hadn’t stopped my old blog and deleted it. This one has not the energy of the old one. I just can’t seem to write a post that could possibly help ti’s. The ti’s that have been around have seen and read it all from 1000s of blogs and the new ti’s now get educated fast unlike us old timers who had to wait for years to even figure out what was happening. We were of the past generation, whether “boomers’ or “gen x”, we trusted we lived in a free country and that we had rights and recourse if we were being abused or discriminated against in some way. My old journey 2005-2010 was a bitter awakening to me. Not only was there no help to come, even other ti’s would attack if given the tiniest incentive by a perp. I was shocked and dismayed at how far society had fallen and who really ran things. During those five years I lived in pain and frustration. I learned of the “conspiracy” as it is called.
Now I feel helpless to help other ti’s. All the info we have is out there now. If anyone is making real progress it’s being done in secret and may God protect them from being discovered.
As for me, the gs is so bad now, especially on the bus, I don’t go out very much, take almost all my meals at home and generally hide. When I do go out the perp circus is waiting for me on the bus, at the store, even at the doctors. That never changes. It’s always a scene in a restaurant. I must be eating less since I hardly eat out but I don’t lose weight because of the pills I let them stick me on and the lack of exercise I get now since I’m scared to walk thru this neighborhood anymore.
This country has become a nightmare where you can be picked up by the police for anything, charged with nothing and kept indefinitely incommunicado. You must reveal your nakedness to take a plane. Now I’m being race baited to add to the nightmare. I’m being asked for my receipt at stores again. People walk by and smirk in my window all day.
This never ends. It usually does not get better for any ti. I’ve tried living a cleaner life, studying the Bible, paying attention to living a Christian life but nothing works. I’ve been tempted of late to go back into sinning but it’s just a useless cycle. sin/repent/sin/repent, and, what if God didn’t even take me back this time? He won’t the next.
I go for the Daily Prompts to have something to write about but most of the time I find myself not being honest or only telling a part of an answer to the Prompt to continue to hide myself. Too much information. I conceal, then I reveal, never knowing when is too little or too much. Where is there progress being done to help ti’s? Don’t tell me about FFCHS.
During the five years I watched as petitions and protests went by and even a meeting with a group of bio ethicists went by. We were interviewed by the Washington Post. Gloria Naylor wrote a book. Other ti’s wrote books. Nothing happened. There’s thousands of blogs and videos out on our ordeal and nothing is done. I’ve seen gs talked about on TV news shows but nothing happens.
In the old days I was braver thinking this would end soon or that people were basically good and once they figured out what was going on they would not fall for it. All we had to do was get the information out there. Something has changed however: people are ugly, stupid, selfish and mean for the most part. You only see the ugly of humanity for the most part being a ti. It seems, some days, everyone is in on it. Everyone has the smirk, the nose swipe, the little sneer. I wonder if they have been brainwashed or demonized somewhere. Maybe at a rock concert. Maybe at a church. Maybe they obey the little voices in their head because they were told to obey or else.
If there’s ever going to be an end to this it will be many years from now.