Tell us about the last time you were really, truly jealous of someone. Did you act on it? Did it hurt your relationship?
I am jealous of anyone who is not a ti. They wake up in the morning and see the sunrise and are not listening to the endless voice to skull insulting and threatening. They go to work where they are liked and respected and feel a valuable part of the workplace. If I went to work I’d get harassed all day, only get the simplest tasks to complete (so I don’t become financially sufficient or have any self respect). They come home to their family and enjoy their evening and plan what to do on the weekend. Their plans do NOT take into account the perps and what they have to watch out for. Fun and not paranoia determines where they will go. I would come home and watch TV and overeat and try to escape the misery of the day. Now there is no TV but the perps make me miserable when I overeat telling me all the time God will leave me if I overeat.
No matter what they do, even if its only shopping for groceries and going to the laundromat, it is fun without perps. Going shopping for groceries or anything else is running an obstacle course of perps and skits. Shopping is HELL. I used to go to the laundromat. It was the WORST. You HAD to be there and be abused since you could not go anywhere with your clothes in: they could steal or damage your clothes. Even something as simple as getting dressed is fun. You can dress and accessorize your clothes the way you want the colors you want to wear…nothing is determined by the fear of the perps. I go to the bureau and the comments start right away–even down to the underwear. They keep telling me not to wear this nor that or I will get “cursed”. They want me to wear brown and gray only. I push the rules a little and fear retaliation.
You hop into your car (few ti’s have cars) and go where you want. I stay out certain sections of town where the perp demonic influence seems more prevalent. I get on the bus and skits are already lined up for me to make my whole ride miserable the whole ride including even waiting at the bus stop. You go and park your car and sail into whatever building or outdoor area you choose. I get off the bus and dodge perps in my path on the sidewalk including bikes that like to come really close and then the perp on the bike utters a threat and sails off. Once I get where I’m going the perps are all set up and ready for me with more harassment and skits. If I can find a place to go off by myself or ignore the perp circus its a blessing. Otherwise, hell.
A holiday is coming up. YOU are planning on going fishing, camping or just sitting on your patio with a beer. You might have a BBQ or go to one. I am dreading the holiday knowing my perps make an extra effort to make my life miserable on any holiday. I don’t see family or do anything special.
Sometimes I believe the perps are all connected to each other in a hive network so that they know each others thoughts and the ti’s thoughts. It seems so well coordinated. They think in a group brain.”We” has replace “I. For a little fun they lose themselves to the network. It also makes each perp do what the boss says no matter what. No hiding. They are not their own people. Sometimes I wonder if demons have taken them over completely. I have known people before and after they became perps: a nice person becomes a psychopathic monster looking for anything that might hurt me. Unless they were faking it “at first”.
Yes, I am jealous of all non ti’s. I am not too jealous of the perps. They have it better than me–for now but not forever.