Describe an item you were incredibly attached to as a child. What became of it?
I never got too attached to toys and the like. All my treasures were in my mind and my fantasy life. When the perps started to V2k me and read my mind they destroyed my precious kingdom that I built against the world that hated me. The only good thing that came out of it was coming to faith and learning that fantasies were not always of God. I still hate reality and would live in fantasy as much as possible if I could get away with it in God’s economy.
I had a great post built up upon a fantasy. I dreamed my perp became a ti and my “contract” had ended and all the wonderful things that happened to me. I dreamed and dreamed of trips to see my sister and shopping trips. I dreamed of going back to work and being able to exercise without harassment. I dreamt of being friends with my cousin and doing “spa days” around here. I dreamed of meeting a man and losing weight. I dream of going back to work and getting the degree that will make my career I wanted a reality.
I dream of finally being able to connect with God and have a Holy Spirit experience and be filled with joy and assurance. Finally, I go off the pills that are holding me together since that time I was so cruelly messed with starting about 3 years ago. I finally feel alive and real again. Not miserably anxious or stupid and sedated. Mornings are joy and beauty and evenings are peace and serenity. I don’t spend all of my day looking over my shoulder for the next perp. As I side note, no, I do not look back to my life as a ti. I selfishly go on and feel bad about it remembering how many “ti’s” mistreated me and sold me down the river merely for BETTER TREATMENT not even freedom. I feel bad for the ti’s that never mistreated me. I know if I go back and try to get justice for the others I will end up right back where I came from–miserable. I guess I have to agree with you NE1, I would NOT look back.
I dreamed of all the letters of apology people would have to send me to explain their actions. Like,
I didn’t want to do what we did to you 3 years ago and I fought them, but the perp leader put a gun to my head. You never know what you will do when a gun is to your head. I thought the idea was cruel and might kill you. When you survived I was surprised. When you called me and begged me to stop it and I sat there and lied to you I was sorely tempted to give in and admit it on the spot but fear got the better of me again….I am so sorry. I am resigning my post and will go live out the rest of my days in a cloistered order to try to reconnect to God whom I lost touch with all those years ago when I first agreed (also under pressure) to perp you.
I also dreamt of letters being sent to me that had been held and I never got to see. I see a bunch of letters from a friend that turned on me….the last one being
The doctors say I now only have a few days to live. I have been visited here by a wonderful Christian lady and have accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior. I can only hope you have too as well.
And one letter of emnity:
I was glad to accept the assignment against you! I thought you were an arrogant know it all and I thought you were ugly and fat as well! I saw your face in the window at the restaurant as I passed you in my car…the look of depression was precious! At least you had the class to not answer my last letter to you where I compared you to things forgotten in my childhood! I knew of your crime and you richly deserved all you got! It was so fun to refer all your letters to Mr. ___ !!! We laughed and laughed. I tossed the toy bus you sent me into the lake. You are VERY lucky to have your contract cancelled. DONT do anything to mess it up bitch!
At the end of my fantasy, I am ready to go home from seeing my sister and having fun shopping, going to the beach, family holidays, etc..when I’m presented with a surprise! A new truck FOR ME sits on her driveway for me to drive home and keep. After that my new Christian boyfriend invites me home to meet his parents and it goes very well even though I’m 4 years older than he is. The next week, he asks me to dinner at “the” restaurant around here that girls get proposed to. I’m getting ready to go. I look in the mirror. I look better than I ever have in my whole life. They eye bags are gone, I have lost a lot of weight, I have a nice haircut, etc…then the SIRENS go off. There is no bad weather in the area. I see a light getting brighter and brighter and realize 3 hours prior to going to dinner the world will end as I know it.
The president of the New World Order finds my letters and puts them in a museum about Americans he will keep in his country.
His end note: Too bad your deliverance came too late, lady.
All this dreaming because I was pushing a vacuum and dusting.
P.S. Considering this dream again: what good would it do? I would merely be trading one facade for another for the world as it seems is not real but a creation of the Elite and the Media Conglomerates, Big Food, and other of our “masters”. 100 or 150 years ago, a man was a man on his own farm and saw the produce of his own hands as his reward. Now, we live in a dream world run by the satanic occult elite. A bullshit TV themepark world of a pseudohell. The spa trips, the malls, the new clothes, all a part of another materialistic nightmare. Only the human relationships would matter, and even they would not matter as were they not the same ones that sneered in derision before, now covered by a nicey nice mask of fine fine? Screw this world.