“Explain why you chose your blog’s title and what it means to you.”
My original blog’s title: Downcastmysoul is in reference to Psalm 42 where David? felt abandoned by God and mocked by his enemies for his running away when Absalom his son tried to steal the throne from him. I feel this Psalm is a great Psalm for a ti who goes thru all the pain and poverty and humiliation of living as a target. He begins to doubt God and his faith and literally has to hold him/herself up to continue to believe.
Ever since I came to faith in 1995, the perp o traitors have been right behind me questioning my faith and mocking me at a level I never got before I believed. I have been called “satan”, “the devil” and “evil”. I have had people “bind” and “rebuke” me in public after I got angry when they perped me. I had a woman ask me where my God was when I was homeless. I told her He was still there but she said she doubted it and that she was a witch and would cast a spell on me. God dealt with her a short time later. This latest assault via V2k and street theater to convince me I have lost my Salvation and that I am evil was designed to either get me to commit suicide, go apostate, or simply throw up my hands and switch to perpdom or eventually take the Mark of the Beast. When this latest assault started I was indeed seriously backsliding and believed it was God telling me that I was no longer accepted in His KIngdom. After the initial message I received which was louder than any V2k I have ever had and seemed to surround my body, I, indeed seemed to receive an onslaught of tormenting demons and deep depression that seemed to underscore my experience.
After that I received hellish dreams, a vision of what looked like Jesus, and went into a deep depression that culminated in my not being able to sleep nor hardly eat. I literally thought I was dying. I even seemed to have a nasty odor about me. I thought it was the odor of corruption.
During this horrible period, I turned back to the Psalms for comfort along with Internet radio shows and ministries to cope. In the end I still needed to go for the pills to start to heal and return to a semblance of “normal”. I do not remember feeling right for months or even year after this happened.
I cried a ton at everything. I felt vulnerable and half dead. God still seemed far from me. I still have not come into his Presence.
Dcms2 is a mere continuation of the old blog but like any sequel, it does not hold the power or the originality of the original.