Here I was reading another’s blog and got inspired by the “post a day” theme that played in 2011. Has it been done again? I x’d my old blog about 2 years ago but am feeling in a intellectual and creative dead zone and feel a need to express myself. My blog (unfortunately) is about my experiences as a targetted individual or “ti” since 1987 when Reagan was President phones had cords, 9/11 was not even a thought and of course, there was no internet as it is now. In my old blog, I posted an ancient diary circa 1982 that described, at least for me, part of the nightmare of being in the psychiatric system. I became a very loud crusader against psych drugs–going off of mine for 3 long years until the perps struck so hard I needed to go back on them to merely survive. I pissed off a lot of people by my anti drug stance and am still not sure if I’m sorry. I am VERY sorry I had to go back on the drugs but not being able to eat or sleep or sit still was not an option.
Another part of my blogs were book reviews, along with the very long unfinished review of Atlas Shrugged (oh dear). I still admire Ayn Rand since she did something for me no one else could. She introduced me to MYSELF. I never thought of myself as a unique identity apart from all others. I always thought a person was who they were in relation to others, their occupation, how they dressed, etc. I never saw myself as a self, merely an appendage of others and their lives. This attitude was not going to work as a ti since we are isolated to a great degree. I grew up without a self concept and needed one. This does not conflict with my religious beliefs since I believe God created us all in the womb as unique creatures (like Psalm 139).
I also reviewed the long and weepy epistle called Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace who had committed suicide that year. My best known review was for a book on Sociopathy by Martha Stout which generated a 500 post long comment stream that crashed my blog every time I tried to access it. LOL. Well for the 3 readers that read my blog before, here I am again.